Just My Goddamn Luck
by EmilyyOSHIT
Summary: A love triangle, no, more like a love OCTAGON between South Park folk and my friends lmao. WARNING doesnt get good till liiiike chap4ish. :3
1. Embaressing Encounter

**»EmbaressingEncounter«**

A/N" I am a huge fan of South Park and positively in love with Kyle Broflovski and .. sort of Clyde Donovan. I don't live anywhere _near_ South Park, but I've decided to interpret what my life would be if I went to South Park Elementary, in my imagination.

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Emily Wright awakened in her twin-sized bed. It was about 7o'clock one Thursday morning. She brushed her teeth, then got dressed in her black coat and dark teal jeans. She fixed her hair, grabbed her Nightmare Before Christmas sling bag and headed off to the bus stop.

She saw the regulars waiting: Wendy the bitch, Bebe the nice bitch, Craig the guy with the cool hat, Tweek the twitchy cute guy, Clyde the hottie, Jason the Harry Potter freak, Token the black dude, Stan the other hottie, Cartman the fatass, Kenny the quiet pervert, and ...Kyle the _SEX_ and by far the hottest of them all. She blushed a deep purple as she passed by the hot, HOT Jew. She heard Cartman make a gay ass joke and Kyle retort back and she couldn't help but smile. She was so purple she had to look down and let her hair cover her face. Annie came up beside her and said hi. She was branded The nice girl with puffy hair. Bertha Red started talking and Emily just nodded along. Bertha Red was.. The Redhead. Anyways the bus came up and, just her goddamn luck, she dropped her bag.

"Oh shit," she sighed. She started picking up her stuff, while everyone else got on the bus. It was pretty hard to do, her hair kept getting in her face. "Here, I'll help," someone with a remarkebly bright orange sleeve and green mittens offered. "Thanks," Emily smiled. She realized it was pointless, since her hair almost completely covered her face. Once her stuff was all cleaned up, she looked up. A really good looking boy smiled at her. She smiled back, before realizing it was Kyle who helped her and just turned beet red and looked down, turned and shuffled onto the bus.

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She sat down beside Clyde, since he was the only one alone on a seat. _DAMN, forgot to do my math homework_, she slapped her head. She pulled it from her bag and thought hard at the questions. 5x2... _GRR_! She decided to turn to Clyde for this one. "Oh I know this, the answer is TWALVE!" he stated with much pride. "Uhh, thanks Clyde," she weakly smiled as she wrote 10 and moved on to the next question.

A few seats ahead, Kyle and Stan were awkwardly having a "Girl-related" conversation. Stan was complaining about how Wendy was holding Token's hand and staring at him on purpose. Kyle kept glancing backward and looked a little distracted. He never really realized how much he _hated_ Clyde.

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The bell was about to ring. Emily rushed over to her locker. She glared at Wendy and knocked shoulders with her. Wendy gritted her teeth and opened her mouth to say something clever, but Emily cleverly just flipped the stupid bitch off. She laughed at her stupid pants. They were piss-coloured... Emily was pretty sure Wendy had marinated her pants in the toilet or something.

As the bell rang, Emily skittered over to Mr.Garrison's classroom. She walked in and smiled at the thought of the 'Pick your own Seating Plan' rule. She did not want to sit with Wendy, and she would have sat with Bebe is Wendy wasnt whispering in her ear and staring right at a pissed off Stan. Beside him, Kyle looked a little shifty-eyed and sweaty, but still **SO** hot! She ended up sitting with Clyde again, because he was very welcoming and patted the seat beside him as an invitation. Tweek was on the other side of her, so she was pretty excited about this arrangement.

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Until next time, »aym«


	2. Love Notes

**Love Notes**

A/N" I promised my friends to let them in the story soooo.. heeeerree they COME D

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Mr.Garrison walked into the classroom, along with Mr.Slave, the Teacher's Assistant, or the Teachers Ass. Emily couldn't help but laugh at the wordplay. She glanced around the room, scanning everyone in the row she was in. Bebe was sitting at the end, then that _bitch_ Wendy, then her boyfriend Token, then Kenny, Stan, Kyle.. **KYLE! **She was only 2 seats away from him! Holy shit, thats close! She began to viciously sweat, panting and shifting her eyes. Emily is a person who overheats VERY easily. Okay, after the sexy, smouldering Kyle, then sat the kid with dreadlocks, who she liked to call Dreds, then Clyde, then herself. On the other side of her was Tweek, a girl with light brown hair and minty green eyes named Carly, Craig, a girl named Kristin with shockingly blue eyes, and then the fat kid Cartman, who looked a little interested in Kristin. The row in front of her sat Timmy, Esther, Annie, Kevin, BerthaRed, Jimmy, Ethan, Jason, Kal, and Butters.

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Mr.Garrison took awhile to assemble his papers and winked at Mr.Slave. In return, Mr.Slave reacted with a "Ohoho, Jethuth Chritht." Emily was completely hung up on Kyle, and Clyde seemed to be interested in her. She didn't really care, though. Clyde asked her if she wanted to go to Starks Pond with Tweek and Carly this weekend. Emily wasn't really focusing on Clyde, so just said no to whatever he said. Emily politely declined, but acted sorry for effect. Clyde looked sullen and kept his head down. On the other side of her, Tweek was passing a note with a heart on it to a smitten Carly. Damn, thats mushy, but god did she wish she could have that with Kyle.

Mr.Garrison was just going on and on about the first moon landing in 1969. Emily was lovingly staring at Kyle and Wendy was dangling Token infront of Stan's face. You wonder how she could do that, but that girl was such a bitch, silently bragging wasn't too hard for her. Emily noticed the girl named Kristin winking at Craig. Then she saw Cartman sigh right after and start to scribble a note on a piece of paper. Just as he passed it to Kristin, the bell rang and she unknowingly knocked it on the floor. Everyone filed out of the room to their lockers, and Emily started packing up her stuff, when, **AGAIN**, her bag spilled out all over the floor. "DAMNIT!" she scolded herself, while she leaned over and started picking everything up. Her hair was even worse than before and she couldn't even see anything she was picking up. "Bad luck today?" She looked up at Kyle kneeling before her, helping her out again. She smiled and nervously answered, "Uhh, yeah. Thanks again." Just then, Clyde stepped infront of Kyle, and grabbed all of the papers, straightened them all and shoved them into the old Nightmare before Christmas bag, glaring at Kyle.

Clyde smiled brightly and helped Emily up. Kyle waved goodbye and took off for the lockers. Emily noticed the note Cartman wrote also sitting in her bag. It just read 'Do you like me?' and there was a 'yes' box, a 'no' box, and a 'maybe' box. She felt so bad for Cartman, she just checked 'yes' and shoved it into Cartman's desk. Hopefully he wont be so depressed anymore.

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The bell rang for second period. _Aw, dang it. I'm going to be late now._ She figured she would just forge a late note so she wouldn't have to get a pinkslip. She dug into her severely unhinged sling bag for her pencil... where the hell was it! She started looking on the floor, but just saw a scrap of paper on the floor. She picked it up and looked at it. It was the exact same note she just answered for Kristin, except with messier handwriting. _Oh my god, the first note wasn't Cartman's note, it was Clyde's! What now?_

Until Next Time, »aym«


	3. Art Class

**Art Class**

A/N" This chapter should've been called Embaressing Encounter, LOL. The next one hopefully will be better.

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Emily slipped out of the classroom to her locker. She didn't know what to say to poor Clyde. He wanted to know if she **LIKED** him! I mean didn't she make her non-interested...ness clear when she declined his sweet invite? But know that he was out in the open, couldn't she just give him a chance? Damn, this day sucked! And also, why did Kyle all of a sudden take notice to her? Did someone tell him she was totally in love with him? Shit, dude. Maybe he just wanted to make fun of her. No, Kyle would never do that. He was too sweet, and smart, and caring, and thoughtful. I mean HE would be the romantic type, not Clyde. Oh, why didn't anything make sense!

She walked into the art room and gave her 'note' to the teacher. Everyone was already in their table groups. Turns out that the seating plan rule applied to every class today, so there were only a few seats left. Emily would **not** sit at Wendy and Token's table, so that left two tables. One had Timmy, Pip, Butters, Ethan, and Jason. Ew. But the other table had the amazing Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Clyde, and Kenny, who by the looks of it was drawing a naked woman. She would have picked there, except that the empty seat was in between Kyle and Clyde, so she decided to sit with the losers. She could not be that close to Kyle for the entire class without burning up, and she felt too bad for Clyde. Plus, Cartman wasn't funny anymore because of his obvious obsession with Kristin, who was sitting a few tables away with Craig, Carly, and Tweek. He stared longingly at her, while she barely noticed. How the hell did she not pick up on this! Anyway, Emily placed herself in between Timmy and Pip on her chosen table. Kyle and Clyde exchanged glances, then frowned at eachother and looked away. This was going to be ONE shitty art class!

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During the art class, Mrs.Streeble 'The Art Whore' passed out some sort of sheet to everyone in the class. Apparently we had some table group problem to work on. Emily just zoned out of 'Art Mode' and into 'Kyle Mode'. She laid her eyes on his sweet smile and sexy body. She watched him stand up and walk towards her table. She started to break a sweat .. and her focus. Kyle was right behind her. She just pretended not to notice, and started talking to Pip. "So Pip, what do you think you're going to do with the project?" He delightedly answered "Oh, I was thinking of making a jolly orange made of metal. My legal guardian is a right-o metalsmith, he is, and he's been..."

As he babbled on, Kyle tapped on Emily's shoulder and asked, "Hey, Emily? Stan is all pissed off at Wendy for being a bitch again, so I'm hanging out with Tweek and Craig after school tomorrow. They're bringing Carly and Kristin to play truth-or-dare, so I wanted to bring y-" "WHAT!" Emily screeched, dropping her bag on the floor. She was glad she pinned the top down so it wouldn't spring open and once again, spill everything. Kyle looked at Emily's bag, then back at Emily. He smiled, and Emily tapped her head cleverly. It almost hid the fact that she was petrified with anxiety and feverish. Her forehead and armpits were drenched. Emily forced a smile and nodded robotically, stifling a girlish shriek.

_She Could _**NOT** _wait until Friday_.

Until Next time »aym«


	4. Aw, Cartman!

**Aw, Cartman!**

A/N" I literally feel **BAD** for Cartman in this chapter, but everything works out in the end...maybe.

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School on Friday was _finally_ over! Emily was walking to her locker. She needed to drop her stuff off at home before she went to meet Kyle. Where were they going to play truth-or-dare anyway? It was all so exciting! Emily was frantic. She could feel her heart beat in her brain, and her stomach felt like it was floating. Even after all of this anxiety, she couldn't hold back a gigantic grin. This might be, you know, IT with Emily and Kyle!

Emily flew down the front steps and ran onto the bus, to see only a few others who were always excited to get home: Butters, Pip, Dog Poo. She sat right in the middle, where Kyle and all the other fourth-graders sat. Emily was bored stiff. It seemed that time was going backwards ever since Kyle had asked her to hang out with them. _Grrrrrrrrr_, this is taking too long. A little third-grader came on the bus, started crying, fell over, then ran off the bus. Hm. Wonder what made him cry. Anyway about 10 minutes later, Jimmy and Timmy came on the bus with the ramp, which meant everyone was waiting to get on. Stan looked like he was about to cry so he sat in the front with a supporting and reassuring Kyle. He was so caring, thoughtful, smart. He is such a good friend. _Tee hee, _she giggled.She was just praying to sweet **lord** she would be dared to kiss Kyle. Sweet, sexy Kyle. Emily decided not to start on "Kyle Mode" again. A teary Kristin and a frustrated Craig came onto the bus and sat down on the seat across from her. "I cant beleive you have Basketball practice on the day of our first kiss!" Kristin sobbed. Aww, poor girl. She's probably been waiting for Craig for a while as well. Emily could most DEFINITELY relate! Next came Carly and Tweek who sat at the dead back. Odd. From the looks of it, Tweek and Carly have already had their first kiss. Whoa, the bus was already full. Noone would have a seat. Then came a few kids who finished their extra help class. Three guesses who she ended up sitting beside. I'll give you a hint: floppy brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, cute red coat, and the tendency to say "Twalve?"

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The bus ride wasnt awkward at **ALL**. Pfft, yeah it was the most horrible expirience Emily had ever... expirienced! Clyde kept knocking her shoulder or sneezing, then apologized so quickly and quietly it just sounded like a humming. Kristin's weeping across the seat and Craig's constant apoligizing and sniffling made it VERY difficult for Emily to adjust to "Kyle Mode". Finally, _finally_, it was her, Kenny, Cartman, Kristin, and Craig's stop. Emily sprinted off the bus and panted the second she got out. _Oh, why did I have to break such a sweet guy's heart?_, she whimpered. He cared enough to write a note, but still struck out. Life can be cruel sometimes. End of story.

Kristin couldn't even look at Craig. It seems her heart was broken as well, like maybe she thought Craig didn't care as much for her as basketball practice. But Emily knew he would just get grounded, or flipped off by his parents if he missed it. Cartman seemed a little perkier than his usual "Kristin Mode" that he was normally in. It is nothing like the coveted "Kyle Mode", Cartman sighed a suicidal sigh whenever he saw the two of them together. She felt awful for all the broken hearts in the fourth grade. Suddenly, her mind clicked. Ask Cartman to take Craig's place! It would be good for his health, too. He's lost like 15 pounds because he's been too depressed to eat. "HEY CARTMAN!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. He turned slowly and looked her in the eye. "Yeah?" He said 'yeah' like a person would say, "yeah, my grandma died," or something. "Uhh, Kristin wants you to come play truth-or-dare later. Its at Kyles clubhouse, I think." Cartman suddenly looked like he saw a ghost, "OKAY!" he choked on his grin. He booked it all the way home, probably to fix his hair and look good for her. At least _one_ of them would look good. Emily's hair was all floppy today. It would not stop getting right in between her eyes. Oh, well. Hopefully it wouldn't matter to Kyle.

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_knock knock knock_

Mrs.Broflovski aka Sheila aka **'SHAYLA'** opened the door. "Oh, hallow theare, Emilay. Koil is up in hies trayhowse wayting fower awl of hies littuwl friends-ah." she said with a psychotic "New York Jewish" accent. Emily fought the sweat and panting as she made her way to the back of his quaint home. It smelled richly of Cheese-Farfel Latkes and Blueberry Blintzes. _Mmmm... _she hummed as she stepped out into the backyard. Emily went up to the tree and knocked on the wood. Kyle poked his little head out of the treehouse. Emily couldn't help but blush. Kyle had combed his jew-fro out and gelled it down. He was wearing a crisp green tee and black pants. He held out his hand to pull her up. It was like Emily's dream fantasy. Except that a pouty Kristin was there with Tweek. Why did she even come? Well, it doesn't matter, because Cartman would be here any minute, and Carly too. Tweeks hair was wavy and looked a little longer, just like that metro phase. Good times. Tweek had probably taken some medication, too, because his jittering and shaking were lowered to just constant shivering. He just looked like a blur.

_knock knock KNOCK KNOCK_

"HMM," Tweek stifled an "AHH!" Sure enough, it was Carly with lots of eyeliner hacked on, and Cartman, who wore his hair flopped on his forehead, and fancy clothes. "What are you doing here, fatass!" Kyle shouted. Cartman's face switched over to depressed-looking. He stammered, "Well, uh, Emily told m-" Emily interrupted "I figured since Craig coudn't come and all th-" Kyle, who looked at Emily, figuring he didn't want to upset her decisions, finished, "Well that's okay. You can stay, as long as you don't be a smartass, or weigh down my treehouse." Cartman brightened, which confused Kyle. "Let's play already!" Carly stomped her foot. "Okay, I'll start. Truth or dare, Tweek" Kyle asked. "mmmDARE!" he shouted, winking at Carly. Emily rolled her eyes. _Oh dear, here comes the nudity._ But luckily, Kyle dared Tweek to jam a stick up his pee-hole. While Tweek was outside doing that, Carly decided to have a little fun. "Kristin, T or D?" .. "Uhm DARE!" she probably had that practiced for when she would get dared to kiss Craig. "Kiss Cartman on the lips!" Carly exclaimed. "Uhhh...chicken." In case you didn't know, chickens are what you say when you don't want to do the dare for obvious reasons. You normally get 3 of them per game. Emily was sitting far from him, but could tell his heart had sunk like the Titanic. Why did she give him false hope? Cartman just sighed his suicidal sigh and slowly made his way to the door. Carly and Kyle were confused, but could tell what was going on. Kristin sat there, staring at him with wide eyes. Noone said anything. Kyle opened his mouth to venture a guess, but then closed it. "Uhh my turn?" Emily asked.

Kristin, who had a puzzled look on her face, quickly stood up and started climbing down. "Guys I'm done jamming the stick up my-AAH!.. OW!" Kristin probably knocked him down to get to Cartman. Everyone looked out the treehouse window to where Cartman was walking. He was schlumped over and probably crying. Kristin caught up to him, turned him around, threw her arms around him and gave him a big, fat kiss. It lasted about 30 seconds and then Cartman leaped up into the air and grinned at the sky. Kristin said something-or-other and pointed north. What were they pointing at?

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Little did they know, in the distance.. they were pointing at someone with his mouth dropped open, tears in his eyes, basket ball in one hand, middle finger up on the other.

Until next time, »aym«


	5. A Taste Of Her Own Medicine

**A Taste of her Own Medicine**

A/N" Fights are everywhere, but first, a fight that REALLY deserves to be done!

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"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" Craig shrieked. Kristin froze. "Uhmm.. well he was.. I was just-" "WHY ARE YOU KISSING MY GIRLFRIEND YOU LITTLE BITCH!" He wasn't mad at her? Well then, Kristin sat down uneasily to watch the boys fight over her. Cartman kept looking at her for support, I mean it was _her_ who intiated the kiss, not him. He wouldn't dream of pissing Craig off like that. He knew damn well Craig could kick his ass to China and back. For once in his life, he wished he was Kyle.

In the distance, Kyle, Emily, Carly, and a fidgety Tweek all sat back down to enjoy the rest of the children's romance game. "GAAH! Kyle, truth-or-dare?" He was probably getting Kyle back for him making Tweek shove a twig up his pee-hole. Thankfully, he just dared Kyle to kiss Emily. **KISS EMILY! **GAAH! Emily imitated Tweek in her head. This would be IT. After this, Kyle and her would be together forever! Tweek and Carly turned their heads to give them a little privacy. Kyle smiled happily. Emily looked down but swallowed her nervousness and everything that came with being the pathetic obsessive girl she was. He shoved over right infront of her face, inching closer by the second. She felt the sweat come, but just rolled with it. He closed his sexy emerald eyes and she closed her big brown eyes. she felt her hair flop over her face but quickly pushed it aside as he got closer. Her lips puckered and she leaned in, amazed by her assertiveness. She felt his minty breath on her cheek and she felt as if all the pieces of her life finally fit together. They felt their lips meet for a split second when, from the ground below, **SHAYLA** came to give them all cookies. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!" Kyle shouted. Emily felt herself blush as she knew he was just as excited about this as she was. Kyle got the damn cookies and handed them out to Tweek and Carly. Niether Kyle nor Emily could eat anything. It's as if their hearts were broken, too.

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After Tweek and Carly went home, probably for some X-rated madness, Kyle took Emily to Stark's Pond. He sat with her at the edge of the water and sighed. Emily didn't think she could talk, not after feeling all that love and happiness and then just having it go down the drain. "So.. Emily, were you, umm sad when my mom sort of disrupted us?" Well, duhhhhhhhh! This was her entire life's dream! "Well, yeah... umm I was a little disappointed," Emily smiled. The sky was a pinkish purple as the afternoon became evening. Kyle and Emily sighed as they admired it. Kyle shoved a little closer to Emily and took her hand. She didn't ever want to let go, not even if Sheila interrupted them again. Not even if that creep Mr.Mackey came and watched them while touching himself, m'kay? She was in LOVE, and that was all that mattered to her.

Kyle gave Emily the look of complete affection, and Emily did the same. Kyle wanted this so bad, but didn't want to seem to eager. He wanted to try looking away, or letting go of her hand, but she was like this magnet and he couldn't ever let go of her. Then, out of the blue, Emily wrapped her arms around him in a bear hug and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed a cherry red and turned to face her. He wanted to try the romantic first kiss again. They approached eachothers faces and closed their eyes. Just Emily's GODDAMN luck, they heard a loud ruffling in the bushes, causing them to once again, postpone their romances. Kyle took Emily's hand again and tiptoed with her over to the bushes. Both their mouths dropped open.

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Cartman was laying down, and Kristin was laying over him! They were rolling around like monkeys and kissing emphatically. Making out, even! Kyle shut his eyes, "DUDE!" Emily was a little disappointed in Kristin, I mean, she was _mad_ at Craig, but that didn't give her the reason to just make out with Cartman. Kristins big blue eyes looked up in fright, "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, you guys!" She couldn't look them in eye, she was so white with embaressment. Cartman sat up, lipstick all over his face, matched with a smug look. "Kyle, how rude of you to barge into the make-out bushes when someone **else** is using it, you fucking jew!" Hm. He has his old spark back. Kyle glared and Kristin tapped Cartman on the head. She didn't need anyone else getting angry at her. "Please don't tell Craig, PLEASE! I'm really, really sorry you had to see that! I just got this rush of feeling for Eric..." She apologetically explained. Kyle glanced at Emily. She had an soft, understanding look on her face. Maybe Craig shouldn't know, maybe Kristin could change Cartman for the better, or maybe he, again, manipulated the system and was just going to be a dick to everyone later.

Emily knew Kyle might tell Craig, because they were good friends. Emily nudged him and said, "We won't tell we promise." As Kristin smiled at Emily, and Cartman looked releived but still smug. Emily was at least happy he wasn't suicidal anymore. From the looks of it, he was set for the rest of his life. They quickly put their coats back on, linked arms, and sat down at the edge of the water, where Kyle and Emily were before. She couldn't help but feel bad for Craig; he was always a good boyfriend to Kristin. It got pretty dark and Emily said goodbye to everyone. "Wait, I'll walk you home," Kyle offered. "Yes, yes, do that you faggy Jew," Cartman teased. Kristin again tapped him on the head. "Sorry Kyle, but we'd like some privacy anyways if you don't mind, Jew." He whispered 'jew' at the end, like he couldn't help it. Kristin just took it as a joke, and leaned her head on Cartman's massive shoulder. As Kyle and Emily walked hand-in-hand, they passed Stan's house. Wendy and Token were there just talking and Wendy kept glancing up at Stan's window. Stan was peering out, looking pissed as hell. Kyle gave Emily a look that said "Just ignore her," but she couldn't stand it any longer. What she has continuously done to Stan was unforgivable and just plain bitchy! Emily was infuriated. Her emotions took such a turn, she just ran up to Wendy and punched her, square in the face. "AHH!" She screeched in pain, blood pouring out her turned up nose. Token had a look of shock on his face, but just joined Kyle's side. They were both a little shocked, but they were slightly interested in the hysteria. Emily grabbed Wendy's fried black hair and whirled her around. She gasped at her and took a shot at Emily's leg. Emily tackled her and kneed her in the thigh. Wendy fell face down, screaming and having a childish fit. Emily took Wendy's bubblegum pink hat right off her head and placed it on medium brown locks. "Bye, bitch! Next time you think of hurting one of _my_ friends, make sure you go fuck yourself, first!" Emily chirped, smiling. "Wendy's pants turned a shade darker. Eww, she peed herself again! When Emily turned around, Token was gone, but Kyle was astounded. He walked Emily home, while supporting her leg. He knew this: **DONT FUCK WITH EMILY WRIGHT!**

Until next time, »aym«


	6. Blindsided By Love

**Blindsided By Love**

A/N" Could you ever be so blindsided by love, that you didn't even recognize him?

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Ahh, Saturday morning. The pleasure of knowing her and Kyle were basically a couple and a whole weekend ahead of her was enough to make her giggle with delight. She peered at the Powerpuff Girls alarm clock next to her..11:48am. Not bad for a weekend. Maybe she was too excited to sleep in, or thought that Kyle might call.

_ding dong ding dong_

Noone else was home so she had to get the door. Rawr. Emily got out of bed and shoved her feet into her old Batman slippers. She lazily stomped down the stairs and opened the door. Only to see air infront of her face. Kay, great... that was all for nothing. She stepped out and looked around. She had realized she'd stepped on black cellophane paper. She picked up the bundle and peered inside. Black and red roses stuffed the inside. There was a note on one of the red ones. It read:

Dear Emily, Sorry for everything

Meet me at the library 12pm SHARP

PS. don't bring anyone else

Aww! Kyle sent her flowers to make up for the postponing of their first kiss! Wasn't he a sweetie? She blushed a bright fucshia and smiled at herself. Boy, did she look shitty. Her hair was puffed around her face, and she was blotchy from all the constant blushing these days. Emily had better get ready for Kyle, she only had 12 minutes!

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The day was freezing. Emily shivered in her red and black striped scarf and mittens. Her black skull-patterned coat was too thin for this icy town. She looked at her watch, 12:12am. Maybe Kyle was waiting inside. She slapped her head in disapproval and walked inside. It was completely deserted, and the lights were almost all turned out. It was actually a romantic light. Noone could disturb them in here! There was a row of bookshelves and a room with a shadow inside. Kyle! She cought up with herself and realized how in love she was. She needed to just get it over with, before Kyle got bored and moved on to.. Bebe, for instance. She shuddered at the thought and just sprinted inside the room and gave Kyle a huge kiss right on the mouth! It lasted a long time, too. Longer than Cartman and Kristin's first kiss. Kyle had stolen her lip virginity, and she would remember this romantic moment the rest of her life! She pulled away and ran her hand through his scruffy brown hair.. SCRUFFY BROWN HAIR! "Hehe, bitchin'," Clyde mumbled as he gazed at her. "I'm so glad you feel the same way." Emily was horrified. She had just wasted her first kiss on someone she knew she wouldn't spend the rest of her life with.

Emily was horrified. Clyde held her hand and smiled brightly. Emily slapped it away, turned away from him, and broke down into huge sobbing tears. Clyde was a little puzzled, so he kneeled down to her level, "What?" he asked, worrying that he was an awful kisser. Emily sprinted even faster right out of there. This was the **MOST** embaressing encounter that she'd ever expirienced! She wanted to shut herself right out of life at South Park, maybe move to Utah... marry some Mormon.

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_riiiing... riiiing... riiiing..._

Emily had ignored every e-mail and call yesterday. She was so completely mortified, she never wanted to go into public. Today, she figured she'd put everything behind her and pretend nothing had happened. Shit, the phone was ringing still. _Dear GOD don't let that be Clyde demanding an explanation_, Emily pleaded as she answered, "H-Hello?" "Hey Emily, it's Kyle. Where were you yesterday?" It was Kyle. She felt so awful she couldn't stand lying to him, "Oh, I felt sick yesterday." "Are you better?" He sounded genuinely worried. "No, I'm fine, it's just a cold from Stark's Pond." "That's good. I was wondering if you'd like to go to a movie. Maybe see that new Adam Sandler movie, _Click_." "Oh, um, I don't think I can make it, sorry. We'll hang out tomorrow, kay? Uh, my sister needs the phone, I'll talk to you later," she couldn't say 'Kyle' at the end for fear of her sister making fun of her. "Alright, we'll go back to Stark's Pond, love you," he ended. "You too," she hung up, blushing pink. She quickly covered her face, faking a yawn. Her sister Sarah grabbed the phone and glared at her. Emily had one day of peace before she had to face school again. Just one day.

Until next time, »aym«


	7. Where is the Love?

**Where is the Love?**

A/N" Think of World War III, Think of Kyle and Clyde as the two sides. Think of Emily as the land. Think of the Titanic, Think of Craig as Jack, Think of Cartman as... the bad man who wanted to marry Rose, and Kristin as Rose. Craig was slipping away from Kristin and she's just letting it happen. Think of Fairy tale endings. Tweek is the handsome Prince, Carly is the fair Princess. Everything works out with those two. Perfect couple, together forever.

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Emily dreaded going to school on Monday. She had her dad drive her to avoid the bus ride. She looked like a zombie, walking in with a blank stare and unaware of people talking to her. Wendy came up to her with messy hair without her hat and a swelled up nose and bitched at her for a few seconds, before realizing it was pointless and stomped away. Stan hugged her for beating Wendy up. Clyde attempted to keep up with her to ask her what was wrong, but he also just sulked away. She walked into Mr.Garrison's classroom and stared into space. Kyle said hi and asked about some note. SOME NOTE! "Huh?" she snapped out of 'Zombie Mode' and acted her usual normalcy. "I said, I'm sorry but I thought you liked me because you answered 'Yes' to the note" .. "The note was from YOU?" Ohhh, shit. Then how did Clyde get the idea he liked her? There could only be one solution, and her name was Wendy Testaburger. "Yeah, I thought you knew that." Kyle gave Emily a doubtful look, then looked at Wendy. "Wendy says you were kissing Clyde yesterday." "B-but.. I thought, she tricked, what a WHORE!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Miss Wright? What was that?" Mr.Garrison was surprised, "Pricipals office, please. Or I'll have to punish Mr.Slave. "Ohoho, Jethuth Critht," he habitually moaned.

Emily walked down the hall and waited at the bench, where, of course, Craig was sitting. "Hey Craig, why are you here?" "I kicked Cartman's fat ass on the bus and then I flipped the teacher off." Why did she ask? Of course he flipped a teacher off. "You DID?" "Yeah, because he kissed Kristin, so I had no choice. God, why would he do that? I thought he was a fag. Plus, I had to save him from _her_ kicking his ass." "Oh I see, and where did you hear this from?" Emily asked, a little bummed for Kristin. Maybe Kyle told him. Now that was rude. Kristin was so sorry, I would never tell on her. "Through the magic of sight, Emily" Ohh. OHH! They were pointing at HIM. Now things were sort of falling into place. "Emily, come in please, m'kay? Saying rude things in class isn't appropriate, m'kay?" God damnit. When were things going to work for HER?

--- --- --- --- ---

Clyde approached her at recess. "Uhh, what exactly happened yesterday? Wendy told me you wanted to meet me at the Library at 12?" Oh my god! SHE dropped off the roses, not Clyde. Ew, what a BITCH! Kyle stood infront of Clyde, "So Emily, want to meet at Stark's Pond at say... 6:30?" he tersely asked, completely brushing Clyde off. "Excuse me" Clyde asked, annoyed. "I was thinking we could see _The Lakehouse_. I hear its really romantic," Kyle asked, a little too loud. Odd. Yesterday he wanted to see the comedy, _Click._ Or maybe he was saying he wanted to see something romantic JUST because of Clyde. "MOVE IT, BITCH!" Clyde yelled, pushing kyle on the snowy ground. Kyle's hat fell off, revealing his hair, still combed out and everything. He is so cute for doing that!

Anyway, Kyle got up and flicked his hair behind his face. He tackled Clyde and they rolled into a pack of Kindergarteners, like a bowling ball to the pins. Each one of them flew into a different direction, as Emily just sighed and ran over to try and get them to stop. Emily can't have both guys, but she couldn't keep her feelings right. She squatted, head in hands, and bawled her eyes out. Wendy strutted over with an apologetic Bebe. Wendy said something about not fucking with her, but Emily just flipped her off again. Wendy strutted away, not realizing Bebe had ditched her. "Emily? I'm really sorry for how Wendy's been acting. She just wants Stan back so she wants to make him jealous," Bebe explained. "Well then, sniff why am I getting punished? I just stuck up for my friend!" Emily sobbed. "You took her hat. She's weird like that." Emily pulled the hat she dyed black out of her sling bag and handed it to Bebe. She looked impressed at how much better the hat looked, and ran to give it to Wendy. Maybe then she'd stop playing God with her life. Carly and Kristin approached, arms open. They kneeled beside Emily and gave her a warm hug. Emily couldn't help but smile. They had cared enough to be nice to her. "Thanks, guys... but what can I do? Clyde thinks I like him more than a friend, and Kyle thinks I ditched him!" Emily wailed. "I'm going to go beat the shit out of Wendy for you," Carly cheerily stated. "Yeah, and I'm going to explain it all to the guys, before they kill eachother," Kristin put in.

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily didn't realize what was going on. Everyone being NICE to her? That's a first! What could she do? Maybe she'd lost Kyle forever, maybe Clyde would never be her friend again! What if she never got her real kiss with Kyle, one that WASN'T interrupted by Jewish women or lovers. It's like once you think you're problems are solved, a whole new group of problems opens up.

Until next time, »aym«


	8. Is it Meant to Be?

**Is It Meant To Be?**

A/N" Wonder what happened on the bus? Craig vs. Cartman, that's what! Im trying to make a chapter thats not ALL about me! Also, are the couples meant to be? One on one time with each couple, review, because it may affect how the storyline...blooms LOL

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Monday morning, 3 days after the best day EVER. Eric Cartman had his first kiss with the girl he loved. Doesn't seem much like Cartman, huh? Well, it happens to everyone. Deal with it. Cartman woke up, made his hair nice for Kristin, then loaded up his yellow backpack with cheesy poofs, and got on the bus. Craig was standing there, waiting for Cartman to come on the bus, with fiery eyes, like Damien. The second he put his bag on the seat, Craig dove for him. Let's just say there were balls crushed, eyes blackened, Charlie horses, fingers bent, nose bleeds, and bodily bruises, on CARTMAN. Craig walked out of that bus without so much as a scratch. A teacher talked to Cartman and Craig; he just flipped the teacher off. Cartman was sent to Nurse Gollum, and Craig was sent to Mr.Mackey's office, where he had a nice chat with Emily before she got sent in. Now you know both sides.

--- --- --- --- ---

At recess, Clyde and Kyle were fighting to the death, when Kristin came up to them and pulled them apart. "Guys, whatcha fightin' about?" she asked in a serious tone. "This asshole is trying to move in on a girl I've liked since grade three!" Clyde boomed. Kyle was confused, "If you liked her, why didn't you ask her out?" "Well, because she liked you, duh! Everyone knew that! Whenever she saw you, she would freeze up?" Kristin interjected. "...they DID? Jeez, a little heads up would've been nice guys!" "Well, it's not like you've cared since day one!" Clyde shot back. "I've always liked her kookiness and the fact that she doesn't try to be cool like all the other bitches!" Kyle admitted. "WENDY!" Kristin coughed. They all laughed at the stupid bitch.

About 2 yards away, Carly was tackling Wendy like a football player. She scratched her face, pulled her hair, stood on her neck, jumped on her ribs. Basically she** LITERALLY **got the shit beaten out of her. People get what they deserve when they're mean to people for no reason. Point PROVEN.

--- --- --- --- ---

Pip and Damien were walking toward the fight scene. Pip blushed as they passed by Carly. Something about her personality made him want to be straight. Damien and Pip took one last look, then hid behind the goth kids' wall to have some X-rated anime fun. Noone wants to question them for fear of the X-rated anime fun. End of story.

After Wendy was sent to the hospital for massive brain damage, Carly and Tweek hid behind the wall while everyone else went back for the last 2 periods of the day. Emily liked to call Carly "Curlay", and Curlay liked to call Emily "Aym".

You know how couples are nicknamed as both their names put together, example "Bennifer", "Jameron"... Emily called Tweek and Curlay "Twurlay", it made her think of twirly!

Anyways, Twurlay decided to go to Stark's Pond. They were a very cute couple, but noone really understood what they DO. So let's venture all the couples to see if they're 'Meant to be'.

--- --- --- --- ---

2:30pm, Stark's Pond. "Tweek?" "Yeah?" she was the only girl who made him stop quivering. "Do you think were ready to have our first kiss?" "Everyone already thinks we've gone all the way!" Tweek exclaimed. Tension rose, but not nervous, romantic. A cloud covered the sun and the sky went dark. "You know I've been waiting for you, Tweek," "I've been waiting for you too, baby," Tweek smiled as he leaned in. "I love you, Tweek. You are the sweetest person I've ever met," Carly admitted. "I love you too, Carly May. More than coffee. Their eyes shut and their lips met. It only seemed to last about 20 seconds, but it was the best thing that ever happened to Twurlay. When they pulled back and opened their eyes, the sun was back out and a rainbow was up in the sky. "Wonder how that happened? There wasn't any rain..." Tweek pondered.

I think they're meant to be. They focus on emotionally being in love than physically loving. I think that's important.

--- --- --- --- ---

5:30pm, Walking Home After School. Craig approached Kristin. Her eyes darted back and forth. "Sweetie, I'm kinda busy..." Kristin began. "Lots of homework," she continued. Craig sighed and said something Kristin had never heard before, "I think we should break up. I mean, I heard you kissed Cartman, he didn't kiss you. If you wanted him so bad, why didn't you just tell me?" Kristin looked up, eyes watering. "But, I don't really care for him. It was more like a pity kiss... just a rush of feeling, not real, like what we have!" But Craig was already halfway home. "CRAIG!" All she got in response was the middle finger. _Ohh, ohh, so much for my happy ending..._she thought, just as it started pouring rain.

It seems like a dilemma that may be solved...but Craig seems pretty pissed. Maybe it's not meant to be.

--- --- --- --- ---

8:30pm, Kyle's house. Emily had come over to help explain things. Clyde had come too. Clyde was more heartbroken than ever. He had a hard time getting things out in the house of his potential enemy, "So... Wendy just set up the entire thing to get Kyle away from you? But why?" "Bebe told me she wants Stan back, but she doesn't know what to do. Maybe, because I beat her up before, in front of Stan," Emily started, giggling, "she was too embaressed, so she wanted to get me back. I don't really understand her, sometimes." "Well, I totally get it. She's just jealous of all the other girls' fortune with love." Fortune with love! Are you fucking kidding me Kyle? Emily just nodded. She wanted to just grab him and smooch him, but it was more complicated than that. She's dealt with all this shit... maybe she's too complicated for him. The sweat came back. Emily sat down on his couch. Clyde bidded them both goodbye and shuffled outside in the rain. It was getting like a thunderstorm out there! Kyle came and sat on the other side of the couch. He flicked on the TV to Tarrence and Phillip. Kyle looked discouraged. Emily scootched a little closer to him. He took notice and she winked at him. Kyle scootched a little closer, too. He switched the channel to Pay-per-view movies. He scrolled through all the options. After about 2 minutes, he finally picked one. _The Notebook_! What a cutie, except she hadn't seen it yet. Rachel McAdams was lying in the street with a really cute boy. They were laughing about something, it was very cute. Emily leaned on Kyle's muscular, firm shoulder. Kyle then leaned his head on top of hers.

Suddenly, the brightest lightning they'd even seen hit right outside the house, right on a telephone pole. Zap! All the light were out. They could hear a muffled "**whatwhatWHAAAT!**" from the study. Their eyes adjusted to the dark, and they saw Ike hop in. Buh buh buh buh. He jumped up in between them. They both protected little Ike from danger, when Emily remembered she had her Portable DVD player in her sling bag. The three of them watched "The Nightmare Before Christmas". Once Ike fell asleep, they listened to the ending song,

"And sit together, now and forever  
For it is plain as anyone can see  
We're simply meant to be..."

And as Jack and Sally had their first kiss, both Kyle and Emily leaned over the sleeping Ike, very slowly so not to wake him up, but Emily's hair covered her closed eyes, leaning further, Kyle's eyes were shut, leaning further, Emily pulled her arms around Kyle, and as the movie ended, their lips were pressed together. Emily and Kyle had finally shared their first kiss.

And they sit together, now and forever, for its plain as anyone can see, they're simply meant to be...Emily and Kyle together forever

--- --- --- --- ---

REVIEW IF YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, LOL.

Until next time, »aym«


	9. The Biggest Scandal of All Time

**The Biggest Scandal of All Time**

A/N" I need something to mix up the story, and add more characters like Bebe and Kenny!

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It was exactly three days since the first actual kisses of Tweek and Carly, and Kyle and Emily. Tweek and Carly had been inseperable ever since that heavenly kiss. Tweek was pissing the hell out of his best friend Craig, so the recently heartbroken boy decided to join forces with the recently heartbroken Clyde. However, Emily hadn't been inseperable with Kyle. Something kept telling her that it wasn't real. She had been madly in love with Kyle ever since she'd laid eyes on him... how come the minute he takes notice of her, he gets her? I mean Emily just felt a little vulnerable. Don't get me wrong, she was shaking with glee these past few days, but subconciously was a little confused. Maybe that's just the way love is.

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily found herself a loner in South Park Elementary. She never felt like she belonged with Annie, Red, Kal, and all those other girly girls. Of course she couldn't be Wendy's friend. She wasn't THAT desperate! Although, she had managed to make friends with Kristin and Carly. They were both nonconformist nongirly types, too. It is odd that the only nongirly girls managed to snag guys. I guess they're just not all that attracted to girls who think they're better just because they can flip their hair and bat their eyes. Well surprise, surprise. Being annoying doesn't get you shit. More on topic, Carly was oblivious to anything but Tweek these days, and likewise. Kristin was a heartbroken girl also in the loner stage after Craig regrettedly dumped her, for fear that she was going to first. It's pitiful when people hear rumors and decide to act on them without validating the rumor. It's just like beating the other person to the punch. Noone likes to get dumped, but it's just the natural order of relationships. Emily approached Kristin and smiled at her. Kristin half-smiled sadly and turned to her locker. She started to sniffle and shake. Was she crying? Whoa, better stay out of this one. She just waved goodbye and marched off, realizing Kristin's back was turned, so she couldn't see her. Smart, Emily. Smart.

--- --- --- --- ---

_riiiing... riiiing... riiing..._

"H-Hello?" Emily stammered, afraid it was going to be Kyle. "Umm hi, Emily," a girl answered. "...Kristin?" "N-no, it's me, Bebe," Why the hell was Bebe, the BFF of the biggest bitch in the universe, calling pathetic little Emily? "...Well I was wondering if you're doing anything right now, I-" Bebe started. "Well, I'm free right now. Sure you can come over or something. Maybe we can do our homework?" Emily accepted, hesitating a little. "Alright, see you in a bit, house number 57 right?" "Yep that's it, see you soon." She clicked the phone off and set it back on the base unit. Emily was a little puzzled. Bebe was calling her? How'd she get her number? Is Wendy in on this? What's going to happen now? _Stop it_, she thought. _Stop being so goddamn paranoid. Just watch TV or something._ She walked into the living room, where 'Seinfeld' was playing. Ugh, she took the remote and switched it to 'Tarrence and Phillip', duh. Her two sisters appeared out of nowhere beside her and gave her looks of disapproval. The older one, Elise, snorted at her and looked at Sarah. In turn, Sarah started screaming Bloody Mary at Emily. She could only catch a few words, "BRAT! BITCH! SPOILED! SELFISH!" Emily just looked at them like 'WTF' and left the room. God, she hated her family sometimes. Just then, the doorbell rang. Both sisters looked at Emily. Of course, she had to get it. She checked the mirror in the foyer to see if her hair was floppy today. Nope, not that bad. Bebe would have nothing to make fun of. Great. She swung the door open and greeted them, THEM! Turns out it was Bebe AND Wendy, with casts and slings plastered all over her small body. Earlier that week, Carly had beat the SHIT out of her. Emily wasn't there to watch, sadly. But why Wendy, and why now? Oh, Christ! Why does she always have to get screwed over, why? "Umm, hey," Bebe said for both of them. Emily had just better be polite. "Hi Bebe, Wendy. Come on in." She gestured for them to get upstairs, but quickly decided against in considering the massive crutches under Wendy's arms. They went to the kitchen and sat down along the table. Wendy needed the whole left side of the table, because of her extra carry-on casts.

Wendy made an "ahem". Noone spoke. "AHEM!" Bebe shook her head, like she snapped out of a daze. "So Wendy umm.. how.. was your.. day?" Bebe spoke unnaturally, like she was reading off her palm. "Oh, it was great! Token and I were supposed to go to Shaky's, but I stood him up. Then I took Kyle to the arcade, where we spent hours playing Pac-Man and kissing in the lounge area." Wendy had obviously memorized this bullshit, but Emily hadn't picked up on Bebe's poor acting, and Wendy's poor-chanced story. Emily turned white with shock, eyes stinging red. Bebe looked down at her lap and sucked her bottom lip. Wendy smirked and managed to smoothly stand up out of the chair. Bebe frowned and looked like she was about to cry, too. "C'mon, loser." Wendy passively commanded. Bebe was red with anger mixed with guilt, but she served her leader like a slave. Poor Bebe, someone needs to free her from that psychopath. Emily ran up to her room and dug her face into her Jack pillow. She was wailing and sobbing and screaming. The boy she loved more than anything is in love with the girl she despised more than anything. This is the worst day of her life. She didn't even consider the fact that it might not be true. Things were over with her and Kyle. _When will he see how much he'll always mean to me? I think it's not to be. Try as I may it doesn't last. No I think not, it's never to become, for I am not the one._

Emily quoted Sally's Song from the Nightmare Before Christmas with much truth. Kyle would never see her the way she sees him. It can't end up well. Kyle is just too good for her. The girly girls always win. Always.

--- --- --- --- ---

The next day, Emily came in earlier than everyone and told Mr.Garrison she wasn't feeling well. "Wayll would'ye like to go to the nurse for a few minutes, at layyst?" He hinted, running his hand along Mr.Slave's inner thigh. As much as Emily'd hate to delay the gay sex acts Mr.Garrison and Mr.Slave perform before school hours, Emily declined. "I actually feel a little better, never mind," Emily shuddered. Mr.Slave sneezed all over their pop quizzes of the day, and Mr.Garrison frowned. "Well look't that, smartass. You went and got Mistur Slaayyve sick! You can sit at the side of the clayss today!" Mr.Garrison hoped to displease Emily, but she turned triumplantly and sat at the end of the front row. The one ray of hope would be to stay away from anyone she cared about. That's why she sat at the end with Butters and Kal. They were both quiet and polite. Nonetheless, nothing could ever take her focus away from the fact that Kyle had fallen in love with the one person who deserved to die, die, DIE. What about Token? Does she care about him anymore? Does she even have a heart? How could she when it's her fault that so many were broken. Token came in with a fake grin on his face. Poor guy. He doesn't want to be made fun of. Stan was a little pleased for Token. But was a little bit distracted by someone. Just like Cartman was with Kristin.

Great, here comes another broken heart. Of course Emily was basing this theory on absolutely nothing, but so many crazy things have been happening lately, who can blame her? Wonder who he's going to fall for now? Please don't let it be Wendy. That'll just mean she'll be rewarded for being a bitch to everyone. Of course it wasn't her. It might be Bebe, because she was sorry about all this... or Kristin. No, he could never do that to Craig. He was in such a pitiful state these days. His hair was flipped over his eyes, the cute yellow puffball on his aviator hat was cut off, and he tended to be listening to depressing Hawthorne Heights songs. Spitting image of an Emo Slice, as Carly liked to call it. Wendy walked in with makeup about 3 inches thick all over her face. She winked at Kyle and sat next to him, taking Stan's spot. Stan shook with anger and took Token's spot, on the other side of Wendy. She probably thought she was sooooo cool, sitting in between boys who were in love with her. Token was left with Wendy's original seat, and Bebe was left sitting by herself. Emily almost cried when she thought about Wendy's fortune. She manipulated everyone to get people jealous of her to get a guy she'll never have. Then she took his best friend, which means ultimate jealousy points for her.

God, what a bitch. Butters tried to initiate a conversation with her, but she just waved him away. Butters was cute, that's a given, but he was just a little.. baby. If she was a little younger she would've went for it with Butters 'Leopald' Stotch. She shook her head in disbeleif. She could never love anyone except for Kyle. He was her soulmate. Maybe she wasn't his, but it didn't matter to her. People aren't supposed to get feelings like this when they're this young unless it means something. Love is a battlefield for sure. Emily tilted her head forward, letting her hair fall infront of her face, and silently cried until the bell rang.

--- --- --- --- ---

Until next time, »aym«


	10. Bananas and Creme

**Bananas And Creme**

A/N" Okay, so I think Tweek/Carly is the best couple ever, so they need a little mixing up!

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Harbucks Coffee, 12:49 on a cloudy Saturday. Tweek and Carly were enjoying a Venti Bananas And Creme Frappacino with two straws. Carly leaned over the small coffee table and wiped some whipped creme off Tweeks lip, then kissed him tenderly. It was their second official date. Emily and Clyde collected their coffees as well and joined them. They sat across from eachother, perpindicular from Tweek and Carly. Emily sighed and smiled weakly at Clyde, who was grinning uncontrollably. She had someone to cry to, but felt empty as Clyde was a last resort. She gazed at Kyle, over with his new love Wendy. She could never cease to love him. He was the single most important being in her short life. She gazed at him, and got away with it, considering his back was toward her.

Meanwhile, Bebe and Kenny were on a couch eating chocolate chip muffins in the distance. Kenny pulled down his hood and winked at Bebe. In turn, she girlishly giggled. Stan and Kyle were there just hanging out alongside Kenny. Wendy truthfully was there with Bebe, and was trying to come onto Kyle at the same time. Kyle looked a little creeped out and scootched away from Wendy. Stan stared longingly at the girl across the room with Tweek. He didn't even know her name, but realized how much he FUCKING hated that douche Tweek._ Why did he get the pretty girl, and he was stuck hanging out with his friends. What the hell is Wendy whispering to Kyle? _Let's venture, shall we?

"Hey Kyle, why don't you buy me a coffee?" Wendy provocatively hushed into Kyles ear, eyeing Emily. Kyle gave her a weird look and relocated chairs. His eyes had to adjust for a second, but he caught Emily looking straight at him. His heart skipped a beat, and he just looked down. _Why did she leave me for that dumbfuck Clyde? He doesn't even know the answer to 5x2!_ Maybe there was a misunderstanding. He was a little busy this week. Every day after school he would have to go to hockey practice until 9. One day, though, Wendy asked him to come to the arcade.. weird. She couldn't even play them, with all her casts and slings and stuff. Wendy was too calculating and scheming, she might have something to do with this. She looked awful pouty that he didn't get her a coffee. Kyle had no clue what Stan ever saw in her. There was some strange quality to her. She was sort of...evil. It wasn't a sexy evil, either. When Emily kicked Wendy's ass two weeks ago, it wasn't evil like Wendy. It was a balance, like.. _wicked. _Things are soo fucked up right now. Wendy had already travelled back to Kyle, and was stroking his thigh, much to his annoyance. He looked over at Kenny, who looked positively smitten. Bebe was affectionately nuzzling his neck. Kenny is so goddamn lucky to not have to deal with this crap.

--- --- --- --- ---

Craig sniffed and flicked his hair out of his face. He started making his way back home. Ever since he and Kristin had broken up, he couldn't think of anything else. He had gotten kicked out of basketball practice early, for not trying. Of course he knew full well why he wasn't trying. What's the point when his potential soulmate was in love with a sadistic fatass. As he was walking, his damn emo bang kept getting into his face. He didn't care not being able to see infront of him. Why the hell was she attracted to that fat FUCK? It's not fair..."OWCH!" Craig collided with someone. He flicked his brunette bang, only to see a girl with the same bang as him. She flicked the bang, revealing a blue eye. Craig gasped at what he saw. "Oh..." he froze up. He whirled around and silently sighed. He had hoped not to see her for awhile. Kristin sighed, but impulsively put her hand on his shoulder and turned him around in one swift motion. She locked him infront of her and pursed her lips. She smiled and said, "Look. Umm I think we ended things a little to quickly. I'm really sorry for what happened with Eric. He's become a little self absorbed lately and, well... it was more of a pity kiss. I can't explain it, but, maybe I was wondering if we could just hang out for a bit? It would mean a lot to me... it doesn't have to be a date. Well, if you don't want it to be. You know, just to show there's no hard feelings." Kristin crossed her fingers. A bent smile formed on Craig's face. Why was he ever mad at Kristin? Before everything went wrong, Kristin was a little vulnerable because Craig had to go to basketball practice. Maybe he was just a little bit of a one-time rebound love. Maybe she just felt sorry for Cartman, and that was it. Well, that's what Craig hoped. "Sure." Craig beamed, wiping the black eyeliner from underneath his baby blues. "I should probably stop this emo act. You and I are cool now.. right?" Craig fought back a grin, playfully punched Kristin in the arm. "Right." she giggled, glad that things were back to normal. Well, not quite normal. She still wanted more.

Just at that moment, Kristin felt a feeling of love overcome her. She knew she wanted to kiss Craig. But did he want her to? She had to at least try, maybe Craig still felt for her the way she felt for him. Kristin turned to Craig and lightly tilted her head. She kissed a surprised Craig. It was just something about his lips that made her feel like she was home. She backed up a little to see the reaction that Craig had aprehended. He was a little dazed at her actions but he seemed to enjoy their little moment. Just then, the two heard a noise. It was a hushed crying in the distance. "WEEEEEEEH...EEEEEEH...MEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!" he whined, his navy eyes welled up with tears. The couple could tell he was heartbroken, more than ever before. Even Kristin could feel Eric's heart sink. For some reason, she didn't feel as bad for Cartman as she did for Craig. But now the tables had turned. Cartman ran home to his mother's open arms. Craig gave Mrs. Cartman a disgusted look, who knew where those hands had been? "Poopykins, what's the matter?" she asked her son in a high-pitched, dippy voice. "Here, I made you some tasty Snacky Smores with extra chocolate, your favourite!" Cartman sobbed as he grabbed the snack. He shoved it in his mouth and stormed into the house. "Poopy?" she ran after him. Craig and Kristin had observed the whole scenario from a safe distance. They looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh. They had got what they wanted and Cartman may have caught them but that was the fun of everything. Kristin felt the sting of regret, but was about neck-deep in trouble with Craig, she just had to forget Eric.

--- --- --- --- ---

For the next few days, Craig and Kristin were basically inseperable. They did everything together at school and even went over to each others houses. They double-dated with Tweek and Carly. They played truth-or-dare in their clubhouses. Cartman watched pathetically through his bedroom window. A blanket over his head, all the lights turned off and semi-closed blinds. He longed for Kristin to bond with him like that. The way she did in the Starks Pond bushes. Oh how he missed her soft brown hair and how she would stroke his neck and make him purr. He didn't want her to share this sort of bond with Craig. Eric wanted to feel special, like he was only hers. He had to win her back somehow, and he needed a girl. A girl who sparks jealousy. A schemer at heart. He knew just the person for the job: Wendy "BITCH!" Testaburger.

Until next time, »aym«


	11. Homeschooled?

**Homeschooled?**

A/N" Seems like a soap opera doesn't it? Review please, I'd like to know if its going the right way!

--- --- --- --- ---

"And why the hell would I want to help you out!" Wendy objected. Cartman sighed and looked down. He knew people didn't really like him. "Because, Wendy. Because Kristin means a lot to me. I mean sure, its just a third grade crush, but, I really think you can do this. You're like the scheming bitch everyone adores." Noone really adores her, but Cartman wanted this so badly, he needed to lie a little to get her on his side. Wendy thought for a moment. Then her face softened and she spoke, "Well.. maybe. I mean, how would we go about doing this?" Cartman reached inside his loose jacket, (loose because of depression and lack of food) and pulled out a handful of bills neatly stacked. Wendy nodded with an evil smirk and shook hands with the formerly tubby boy. He was in business. Although he did feel the pang of guilt in his heart... that money was supposed to be for a corsage for Kristin. For the upcoming Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance, of course. He was going to buy a baby blue one at the fancy store, he'd saved up for a few weeks. But this was more important. This meant he could be getting back his love from that asshole Craig. This dance was a huge event. He remembered back in 3rd grade, Kyle had this fugly hoe as a date. Her brother was cool, though. He kicked that Jew's ass all the way back to ... India? Damn, he had better start paying attention in class. He was going to take Wendy to that dance, and come out of that situation a bigger man, no matter what!

--- --- --- --- ---

"But Craig, what if I fall?" Kristin giggled. "Don't worry, babe. I gotcha." He was leading her into a room, covering her eyes with his hands. "Annnnnnnd... open 'em!" Craig excitedly uncovered her eyes. "Oh Craig! It's beautiful!" He had gotten her the turquoise dress she'd been eyeing for weeks. She held his hands, jumping up and down with him. They kissed again, and she smiled with releif, hoping everything was finally working out for her. Maybe. He held her close and just hugged her. They just stood their, arms around eachother. "HA HA, Cwaig's got a giwlfwiend!" His little sister stood in the doorway. He flipped her off with a mean look. She flipped him back and stuck her tounge out. "Go away, brat!" he yelled, not taking his arms off Kristin. She flipped him off with both hands and walked away. Kristin giggled. She could relate. She also had a younger sibling who annoyed the hell out of her. Man, this was great! If only she could stop thinking about Eric.. he'd be all alone at the dance.

--- --- --- --- ---

Stan was walking along the lonely road, the only one that he had ever known. He didn't know where it went, but it's only him and he walks alone. He could literally hear the guitar accompanying him. He was somewhat jealous of Tweek, but he couldn't do anything about it. It was simply pointless. He sighed with remorse, and made his way along the lonely, lonely road. He didn't even recognize some of the houses on this street. He turned around and walked backwards. Where the hell was he! None of the houses looked familiar. It kind of looked like.. Massachusets. He bumped something, falling over. "DAMN, DUDE!" he held his ankle, it was throbbing like hell! He looked up. He'd probably hit a statue or a fire hydrant. But all he saw was a pair of big hazel eyes. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" She helped him up. She had medium brown hair with striking red highlights. They picked up the amber flecks in her eyes. Stan softened. "Oh, I'll be fine. Just a little shock," he chuckled, easing the pain. The girl blushed a little and held her hands in prayer position. "H-hey would you like to come up to my room?" she offered nervously. "Whaa..?" he looked puzzled. He'd never even seen this girl before. Why was she so forward? She looked sorta punky, with her Willy Wonka shirt. "C'mon!" she grabbed his arm and pulled him into one of the unfamiliar houses. He went blank for a moment, but, shook from his luck these days. Everyone in his class was scrambling for a date, and no other girl even bothered to acknowledge him. Little did he know that Wendy had forbidden any of them to go to the dance with him. Once they got up to her room, she blared some Flyleaf: "I'm so sick" from the computer. "I'm Lauren. Don't ask what my last name is." He laughed. "Alright, I'm Stan Marsh." The next half hour was one of the most stress-releiving conversations he'd ever had. They talked about their likes and dislikes and all the shit eachother to deal with, and how they coped. He thought, _Wow. This girl is so different from most of the girls at school. She's so pure... no scheming or bitchiness. Just a nice personality and a good sense of humour!_ "Umm.. sorry to ask this, but, I've never seen you before. Do you go to South Park Elementary?" She gave him a knowing look. "Oh, no. Father would never let me go to a public school. I'm homeschooled." Well that explains the great personality. No public school to screw you up. "Haha, I wondered. Well, would you go to this dance with me? It's on Friday night. Just some stupid tradition, but people really get into it." Lauren thought for a moment. "Well, alright. South Park Elementary isn't that far. I guess I'll see you then." He brightened. Maybe things were looking up for him. Lauren blinked her hazel eyes and let out a long breath. "LETS WATCH '_CORPSE BRIDE_!'" she exclaimed. "That new Tim Burton movie? Sure!" She tugged him out of the room to watch the romantic Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham-Carter movie. While they were watching, he'd put his arm around her shoulder and held her. It was a nice feeling. He'd just have to make sure that she never, ever, **EVER** meets Wendy Testaburger.

--- --- --- --- ---

Bebe and Kenny had planned to go to the dance together as well, and although he couldn't afford a dress for Bebe, she didn't care. She would just wear her old pink frilly dress from last year. She wasn't materialistic at all. Even though Wendy's disapproval of Kenny was hurtful, she decided not to give a damn this time. She felt the releif of freedom, and even though it was a 'friendship' at expense, she'd suddenly realized why people didn't conform to the scheming girl world. Kenny would wear his $2.99 at J-mart aqua tux, and his black cowboy ribbon tie.. thing. It was good enough for her, but only if he'd take off his coat a little more often. Kenny was a pervert at heart, but she'd nabbed him anyway. Sure it was likely that Kenny only liked her because she was the only fourth-grader with boobs, but come on, he loved her. It was all good in the hood.

--- --- --- --- ---

Tweek and Carly were _clearly_ going to the dance together, so they were just shopping for a dress and a sexy navy blue tuxedo for Tweek, to set off his aquamarine-green eyes. They walked hand-in-hand, scoping the "A la Mode" fashion shops in the uptown 'fancy shmancy' side of upper-class North Park. Many a time did they stop at certain areas concealed by shadows, and shared moments of affection. Nothing could tear them apart. Not even a raven-haired bitch with a bubblegum pink hat. Not that she knew of, anyways. She'd made her point clear when she 'totally beat the shit out of her' weeks earlier. What was **up** with Emily and Kyle? Not too long ago, they were the couple of the century. Second to Tweek and herself, obviously. But, really. Clyde Donovan had swooped in and stolen Emily against her puny will. Things were pretty fucked up all right. But, at least she had her knight in shining armour. She kissed his quivering lips and held his hips against hers. An older couple, in their twenties, passed them, 'Aww-ing'. Carly rolled her eyes. Tweek pulled her by the hand and pointed out a navy suit with a red dress shirt underneath. The pants were ultra small, and the top looked glum and tattered in just the right places. Carly smirked. "Haha, you'll look like an Emo Slice. Love it! Plus, it'll show your hot abs!" She applauded happily. They entered the store to purchase the sexy suit.

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily mixed the hot chocolate powder into the boiling water. She wore dark grey sweats and a loose black hoodie. Her hair was piled on the top of her thin head in a small, messy, asian bun, which wobbled around as she put the spoon in the sink. She walked up to her room and sat on her bed. She sipped the hot chocolate and placed the mug on her bedside table. She bit into some strawberry ice cream and lay down. She had hit rock bottom. She was about two weeks behind in her homework, and felt like a dead person all the time. Her sisters tried to talk to her about bulimia and other eating disorder shit, assuming she'd become an anorexia nervosa victim, considering she wouldn't eat and had no energy. She flicked the TV on and played some FRIENDS dvds. It was all she did. Drink hot chocolate, eat cookie dough and ice cream, and watch FRIENDS until nighttime. Then, she would sob into her Jack pillow all night. She was living a dumped girl's life. It didn't help her depression that the dance was a few days away, and Kyle would no-doubt be going with his soulmate Wendy. Her life was a blur. It was a scary, dark, surreal, depressing blur. Everything seemed to happen so fast, people echoing in her mind as she slow-mo'ed through all the hysteria. Later on, Clyde had come over to watch a movie. All she could watch was "_The Nightmare Before Christmas,_" but she'd started to sob at the end when Jack and Sally kissed. Everything reminded her of Kyle and how she'd lost him. Nothing was real, it was all bullshit planned by the Queen Bee. Clyde asked her to go to the dance between Emily's suicidal sobs. She'd dried her red swollen eyes and hugged him. He was a friend, but he had feelings. She, sadly had no feelings for him, but he was a great listener. Of course her integrity was long lost, but she had nothing left to lose. Going to the dance was a little conventional for someone like her, but, she didn't want to lose face and not go. It meant defeat if she didn't face Kyle and Wendy with a little dignity. She accepted Clyde's humble invite with a smile. He smiled back, confused at her sudden change of mood, but didn't want to question anything for fear of 'Feminine Things' being brought up. He left her house victoriously and prepared every move he was going to make on Friday night.


	12. The Bay Of Pigs Memorial Dance

**The Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance**

A/N" Mkay. So everyone _basically_ found a date, and lotsa random soap opera shit happens.

--- --- --- --- ---

The lights were turned way down low. Spotlights circled around the dark empty gym. The doors were closed, and only a shaggy emo teenage DJ was in the room. He prepared his burned disks and signaled over to Principal Victoria, standing in the doorway, that he was all set. She nodded and announced in her portable intercom, in her famous Minnesota accent, "Ohkee, children. The dyance will styart in aboot fayve minutes. Y'all can chyange in de byathrewms aynd be in the gym. Seeya soon!"

--- --- --- --- ---

Girls Bathroom- 5:48pm

"Wow, Carly! Tweek got you a really cute dress!" Kristin exclaimed, sporting her turquoise gown. "Thanks! Hey Annie! I really like yours!" Carly excitedly offered. Annie was wearing an ice blue Club Monaco dress. Not too shabby. Wendy stomped out of the handicap stall, and modelled her way through the half naked 9-year-olds. "How you you like MY dress?" she demanded. "It's... great, Wendy," Bebe absentmindedly retorted. "Yeah, if you like wearing ballerina costumes from when you were 3..." Red put in. The entire bathroom exploded with laughter, causing Wendy to turn red and storm out. Once Wendy left, Emily quietly emerged from a smaller stall. She was wearing a satin violet bauble dress with black lace trim. It was a hand-me-down, but she still loved it. "Aww, Emily! That's gorgeous!" Heidi yelled, loud enough for Wendy to hear. Emily meekly smiled and checked her stringy hair. She'd managed to wave it a little. Carly was wearing a tight strapless dress with a silk bow tied along her torso. Everyone looked elegant and beautiful, with the exception or short little Emily, who still looked miserable. "Let's go!" Kristin gestured to the door, linking arms with Annie and Carly. They all followed and walked down the plain hallway with much anticipation for what would happen next.

--- --- --- --- ---

Gym Entrance- 5:56pm

A line of boys dressed in crisp tuxedos awaited their dates. Emily cringed at some of the wierd couples: Red and BUTTERS? Milli and JASON! The bald dude. Jeez! People were desperate. Tssh, like she should talk. She was more desperate for Kyle than Wendy was for Stan! She approached an anxious Clyde, excitedly holding a pretty violet corsage. He _was_ a sweetie, it's just, she didn't have any feelings whatsoever for him. Still, she didn't want this to ruin her night. She put on the corsage and held Clyde's clammy, sweaty hand. "You look beautiful" he whispered into her ear. She looked up at his genuinely smitten face, eyes glistening with sorrow. "...Thanks," she finally spouted before looking down again. She let her hair fall infront of her face, choking from the smell of her Coconut shampoo. She peeked through her brunette waves to see Stan with some tall girl with plenty of eyeliner. Exchange student? Either way, she was releived to see him happy for a change. She scanned their grade to see if Wendy and Kyle, dear sweet Kyle, were making out already. Hm. That's weird... seems like Wendy was going with Cartman. Things were pretty fucked up right here.

--- --- --- --- ---

It was time. 6:00 sharp. All the hot n' heavy couples pushed and shoved to get in, while some of the short-lived awkward ones held back. Clyde led Emily by the hand to a great spot on the dance floor. Apparently they had some special guest performing, but all the kids saw were an empty stage and an asian emo dude playing the SAFETY dance. Noone was really dancing, except for Butters and Red, who were bustin' a move. A muffled "God damnit, Butters!" came from a nearby Cartman. Wendy was acting all clingy with him. Emily decided to stay out of that one. Some Aerosmith blared out the speakers, so Emily had to dance. "I don't wanna miss a Thing" was a good slowdance song, so her and Clyde held eachother and danced. In the distance, Tweek and Carly were so close together, she could literally feel the pressure on her pelvis. She took her hands down to his tight little bum, pulling him even closer for a kiss. Emily could feel Clyde's hands falling down her back as well, so she strategically tripped on her heels. "Are you okay?" he sounded disappointed. "Oh...yeah. I'm fine. I just need a drink or something," Emily faked a woozy voice. "Oh, sure. I'll get you some punch." He made his way through the crowd. Emily had to get out of there! She decided to chill with the wallflowers: Kal, Token, Heidi, Ethan, Esther, Kyle, Timmy, **_KYLE!_** He was facing the wall, schlumped over looking at his shoes. Passing by him made her squeak, which, of course, caused him to look up. She froze, but then realized that the tension was only going to grow. "Uhh, hey. I figured you'd be here with _Wendy_." Emily nervously broke the ice, when all she wanted to do was grab him and kiss him. But she couldn't. He'd moved on. "Wendy? Why would I? She's a nasty bitch.".. WHAT? Emily looked like she saw a ghost. "..Y-you mean you DIDN'T make out with her at the arcade?" He gave her a 'WTF' look. "You mean you haven't fallen in love with Clyde?" They both thought for about 5 seconds. They both clicked. "Aww, **BITCH!**" they screamed in unison. Kyle took both Emily's hands, tearing up because of their gullibility and foolishness. "Come with me," he gently took her behind the bleachers.

--- --- --- --- ---

"Cart_maaaaaan_, I have to go to the bathroom really bad now, can I just so real quick?" she pleaded. "NO! I need Kristin to come back to myah." Wendy let go of him and strutted over to the washroom anyway. Cartman glanced over at his antagonist, Craig. _That son of a BITCH..._ he muttered. Kristin said something in the midst of it all, and was also going to the washroom. "Now's my chance!" Cartman yelled, some people giving him confused looks. "Kristin! Hey, KRISTIN! Will you please, pleeeeease come back to me. Don't go back to that asshole Craig. You don't know what its like to have someone you've wanted for so long, and then just been thrown back into the water. Please, you mean a lot to me," he literally got down on his knees and begged, eyes welling up. "I..I'm sorry. I'm in love with Craig," she slowly turned and continued her way. Cartman let out a long painful moan, falling down on his knees, sobbing. "Have you seen Emily?" he sounded worried, and a little paranoid. Cartman just kept sobbing, so Clyde did a 360 and left.

--- --- --- --- ---

"Kristin? Can I talk to you?" Wendy was washing her hands when Kristin walked in. She slowly nodded. "Well, I want you to know how much you mean to Cartman. He's been talking about you all night." Wendy explained, her eyes filling up with tears. Kristin awkwardly patted Wendy's back. " Just know this, when you mean something to a guy and you just reject him, there is NO way to get him back." It suddenly made so much sense to Kristin. "Stan means so very much to me, but I just can't tell him." she began weeping. "But I missed my chance, I'll never get him back." Kristin gave her a comforting hug. "you mean more to Cartman than Stan means to me. I say, you go for it!" Kristin ran out og the washroom to get Cartman.

"...I shoot. I never miss. The BITCH ALWAYS WINS!" Wendy cackled. She'd done her job. But she'd just spilled how she really felt about Stan to Kristin. Uh oh.


	13. The Bay Of Pigs Memorial Dance Part2

**Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance (Part2)**

A/N" I sorta left you hanging with all the stuff thats been happening, so Im just gonna clear it all up.

--- --- --- --- ---

"Craig, have you seen Emily anywhere?" Clyde was hopelessly circling around the gym floor, asking everyone in sight if they'd seen Emily. "Nope, but have you seen Kristin?" Clyde shrugged. They both walked over to the punch table and just waited and watched for their dates. The DJ shut off his lil turntable thing and moved it offstage, and Principal Victoria came up to the mic. "Ohkee chyildren. The dyance is aboot haylfway over, aynd we will now hyave our spyecial guest performyance, now I would lyke to remynd yew..." she babbled on with her Minnesota accent as Kristin emerged from the washroom. She saw Cartman with Token and Butters going through the backstage door. Butters and Token looked ecstatic, and Cartman was still a little blotchy. Kristin sheepishly walked behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and looked at her. Kristin just smiled and leaned in, but he held her away. "What are you doing?" he looked a little confused. Kristin just looked down and bit her lip. "Don't do this again, Kristin. I don't want you throwing me back just like last time. I've had it." he held her shoulder and caressed her cheek. She sniffed, keeping her eyes on her strappy shoes. "But...but..." she started. "No, Kristin. I'm sorry," Cartman turned around and went backstage.

--- --- --- --- ---

Wendy decided she couldn't let someone know her secrets. She'd obviously go and tell people about this. Hmm.. she had to cut them off at the source. Maybe by making her feelings clear by herself! Then no bitches would be able to tell any secrets. Hehe, she was good. She passed by Kristin and waved, though she looked a little depressed. Weirdo. She made her way along the wallflowers, scoffing at each of them. In turn, they either looked at the ground, or glared at her. Hmph, losers. She cocked her head around the edge of the bleachers to see Kyle smiling at something. What the hell! He's such a freak, rejecting _her_. Where was Stan? She saw no red poofball hat anywhere.. well there was a kid with black scruffy hair like Stan, but he was **with** someone. Was Stan there with someone! NO! Wendy sprinted over to their magical little moment and pulled him off her. "Wendy, what the hell are you doing?" Wendy was infuriated, she was overreacting, screaming, "WHY ARE YOU HERE WITH THIS LITTLE SLUT!" The girl tried to explain with a, "I'm terribly sorry, I didn't mean to bother anyone." Tssh, like that was enough. A few metres away, Principal Victoria announced the special guest, FAITH+1. Aww, shit. Cartman's goddamn christian rock band.

--- --- --- --- ---

Wendy was reduced to a squeaking, screaming little puppy, but she didn't care. Makeup streaked the sides of her face, confusing Stan. "Wendy? If you wanted to go with me, why didn't you just ask me?" Wendy blinked. Why didn't she? "Well, BITCH! God, get the fuck away from him, HOE!" Lauren looked a little peeved. She was shaking, looking somewhat like Tweek. Little does anyone know that they're long lost cousins. Wendy kept shooting rude remarks at the poor girl, but she seemed to stay calm, which pissed Wendy off even more. "You stupid, abusive, fucking whore," she retorted, shakily. Wendy was having a spazz, just screeching at Lauren, then Stan, then back to Lauren. The homeschooled girl was a little angry with Wendy, but didn't do anything about it, until about 5 minutes later, when everyone was watching. She quickly kicked off her pumps and hurled herself at Wendy, knocking her to the floor. Wendy was trying to say something but Lauren kept punching her face left, right, left, right. Stan was trying to interfere to get them to stop, but it was no use. "Please stop, Lauren!" _Why is he defending me?_, Wendy thought. "Mr.Mackey's coming! You'll get kicked out!" _Ugh, she really has him hypnotised, doesn't she?_, she kept telling herself, not letting herself even THINK that he cared about Lauren. Sure enough, Mr. Mackey came over and pulled Lauren off her. "M'kay, there kids. I gotta little lesson about fighting. F-fighting is bad, m'kay? I'm-I'm gonna need you to leave, m'kay?" Wendy smirked as Lauren made her way to the door. Wendy tried to take Stan's hand, but, to her dismay, he just followed after Lauren.

--- --- --- --- ---

Kyle and Emily were behind the bleachers for over an hour, just holding eachother. They didn't kiss or perform any X-rated anime fun, they sort of had a telepathic hour. They didn't even need to talk, they just recapped everything that they went through the past few weeks. All the bullshit they put eachother through, and how the lack of communication made everything worse. Kyles soft grey tuxedo lit up his emerald eyes and felt soft against her skin. She looked up at him, causing her hair to fall back behind her face and expose her big bright brown eyes. They just stared into eachothers eyes and thought, _how the hell did we let some raven-haired bitch come between us?_ Kyle reached into his back pocket and pulled out a little box. "I got you a corsage... I was going to ask you to go with me, but then I heard you were going with Clyde," he gave the pretty black rose to her. She removed the violet one Clyde had gotten her and replaced it with Kyle's. Kyle took Clyde's corsage and tossed it out on the gym floor "What are you **doing**?" Emily looked up, only to see that Clyde had found them. She bit her lip and let her hair cover her face again. Clyde just shook his head, picked up his corsage and walked away. Emily stood up, giving Kyle a straight-shot of her underwear. He didn't want to be perverted, so he stood up with her. He took her back to the dance floor, just to see someone he didn't recognize exit the gym, followed by Stan. Weird. Wendy was all crying and everything was so distorted. It looked like fatass wasn't so fat anymore, he even looked depressed. Also, Tweek wasn't shivering, he and Carly were peacefully dancing and kissing the entire time, they were in their own little fairytale world. Emily was a little uneasy about Clyde, but still, her dance was a fairytale, too. She'd gotten Kyle back, but she'd lost a friend.

--- --- --- --- ---

Craig had found a weeping Kristin beside the backstage door. He was quite confused about this, but he comforted her. Kristin was so confused, she was tied between two guys, she couldn't choose. She didn't really have a choice anymore, either. Eric had made it clear he didn't care anymore. It was a big, fat mess! Everything was pretty fucked up right here. There was a girl leaving way down at the other end of the gym. Who was that? Behind her, Eric and his cute christian rock band were singing romantic songs about Jesus. Kristin decided to be strong. She stood up and left the gym, without Craig. He was a little puzzled at her mood swings these days. He also left, dances were too much stress for him. Outside, he saw some unrecognizable girl make out with Stan. Cool.. WHOA! They were _reaaaally_ making out there, propped up against that wall. Craig was a little freaked so, he just flipped them both off and walked home.

--- --- --- --- ---

"_I love you Kristin.. I want you to walk with me.. I'll take good care of you baby.. call you my baby, baby..._" Cartman was singing his Jesus song, unknowingly saying "Kristin" instead of "Jesus". The entire crowd looked over at him, and even Token and Butters stopped playing and looked at him. "...What?" The crowd stayed silent. "...Aww, DAMNIT!" he stomped off the stage.


	14. Freakin' Weirdos, Man

**Freakin' Weirdos, Man**

A/N" Oh, no, making it worse by adding more people. Dramatic much? Ooh, though. This is the chapter that reveals to Emily some horrid truths.

--- --- --- --- ---

The dance ended wonderfully... for some. Kenny and Bebe got kicked out for PDA, or public displays of affection. Emily thought it should've been called PDA... as in PRIVATE displays of affection, since they were making out in the janitor's closet. Tweek and Carly had the coveted disney night, its like nothing could bring them apart... _nothing._ Lucky butts. Cartman stormed out after his slip of the tounge, and left Wendy hanging. Stan and that new chick were kicked out, but Craig said he saw them sucking eachothers faces. Emily would laugh at that, but it made her feel sick. There was something in the pit of Emily's stomach ever since Clyde's discovery of her and Kyle behind the bleachers. Just the way he looked at her.. made her feel like she was lower than dirt. It was like she was cheating on him. It's just not _fair_. Why can't Clyde just get over her, or, maybe it was her who should get over him. Nope, not fair at all. _Stop whining, lil' bitch,_ she shook her head in disapproval.

"Carly?" Kristin had caught up with her in the hall. For once this week, she was seen without Tweek holding her. Instead, he was getting a drink nearby. "Uhh, Wendy wants you to know that... she's sorry she made you angry about the whole thing with Emily. She really hopes you two will become friends." she was close to pleading. Kristin had become buddies with Wendy, and well, it made her a lot harder to have around. Carly scoffed, but saw the innocence in Kristin's eyes, and looked down, indicating that the conversation was over. When she sauntered back to Wendy, they viciously discussed something. What the hell happened to her? Carly was a little diappointed in Kristin's change of attitude toward Wendy. She was hypnotised.

In the past week, Wendy had convinced Kristin to take her mind off Craig. "Co-dependency isn't something you need. Having a boyfriend at all times just doesn't work. Have you even considered not being with either of them?" Wendy would advise Kristin over and over until it sunk in. And you know what? It was healthy. Kristin hasn't been so focused on anyone but Wendy lately. Maybe she was misunderstood. Or maybe Wendy was pulling all of this out of her ass so Kristin wouldn't spill any secrets.

Kristin was waiting intently for Wendy to finish her drink from the fountain. Carly rolled her mint-green eyes and walked hand-in-hand with Tweek into class. Kristin and Wendy both 'strutted' as Wendy always did, into classroom 401. Craig and Cartman were lonely, but faked confidence when they saw eachother. They marched like 'men' into the classroom, right before the bell rang.

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily dragged herself out of bed reluctantly. She was over an hour late for school. Ever since the dance, she just couldn't sleep. The image of Clyde just ran through her mind. He was stamped all over her dreams, shaking his head like nothing was worth it anymore. _God damnit,_ she thought as she put on her black coat and navy-teal jeans, _this is the outfit I wore when everything screwed up. When everything went abnormal._ This was all too strange to her, she didn't want to look to far into it. She grabbed her disheveled Nightmare before Christmas bag and just walked to school. No need for a ride. Things were about as bad as they could get. Ugh, she would be miserable no matter what. If she didn't have Kyle, the world would be at an end, but if she did, there would be something to screw her up about it. Just freakin' get over Clyde. Just do it.

--- --- --- --- ---

Clyde walked into school about three minutes after the bell rang. Life was shit after that dance from hell. He was having a great time with the girl of his dreams, when that mother_fucker_ Kyle wooed her once again. Didn't she know he was going to break her heart? He was an asshole. Especially at dances. Last year, he'd made this ugly homeschooled girl with huge curly hair a 'Damn Whore'. He was yet to be stopped. Clyde wanted so much to save poor Emily from the sick clutches of that covetist Jew. Well, that was niether here nor there. He waited outside Mr.Mackey's office for a late slip, but as hereached the door, it opened. Mr.Mackey was talking to some twin girls with bright hair. "Now girls, you'll be in class 401, m'kay? I'm sure you'll be fine, m'kay, people aren't as cruel as they are in Massachusets. M'kay?" Clyde was confused. These girls were identical, yet they looked completely different at the same time. Both of them wore Tim Burton shirts and jeans, but they had so very brightly highlighted hair, one with red, and one with blue. "Oh, hello there Clyde. These girls are in your class, m'kay? Would you care to take them there, m'kay?" The girls shot him a "get us the fuck outta here" look, and he just nodded. He quickly led them through the hallway, hearing them babble about the strangest things. "Whoa, did you hear that new AFI song? It was fucking awesome!" the bright-blue haired one exclaimed. What's AFI? "Dude, he probably hasn't. Hey, kid, did you hear that remix of that Flyleaf song?" Clyde just shook his head. "Umm, hi. I'm Cl-" they'd already reached the classroom. The red-haired one opened the door and scooted inside with her twin. Clyde sneaked in after them and sat down, considering all the attention was on the bright-haired girls. And _that's_ how you get out of a late slip, he thought to himself. Kyle took notice of him and glared. His anger bored into his eyes, then he looked at Emily's seat, then back at him. Odd, it was empty. Clyde gave him an "dont look at me" look, and figured, _Why should I have to explain her absense? It's HIS fucking girlfriend!_, so he performed a "Craig", and flipped his antagonist off. Kyle exhaled angrily and crossed his arms.

"Children, children be quayit. Children... QUAYIT YA LITTLE ASSHOLES!" the class froze. "Ohkai, children. These two little guwrls are new to the clayyss, and I want you to make them fayll welcome. They just transferred from howmskewwling, and their fawthur would like you all to be extra niiice to them, because if youre nawt then their fawthur wont let theim stai, and I wont be paid extruh for hayving two more kieds in mai clayyss." Stan recognized one of them as Lauren, his date from the dance, yet he didn't know which one. Damn, introduce them, he pleaded in his mind. "This lil fire-haiyr over haire is Lauren Diane Kalinowski, and this one over haire is Milla Killa Kalinowski." The class was silent, except for Wendy, who expressed her disdain with a quiet but noticable sneer. Kristin obeyed her by doing the same. The girl named Milla Killa moved her hands in an L-shape, right at Wendy, motioning she was flipping her off. Old people like Mr.Garrison wouldn't pick up on new shit like that, so Wendy just turned to Kristin and whispered something. Bebe rolled her eyes. She couldn't beleive she used to be that girl. Milla and Lauren could quickly tell who her enemies were. "Ohkai, theyir ies a lack of extruh deysks, so Lauren, you can sit in this sait in Token's desk beside Stanley, and Milla, you can sit besayde Tweek and Clyde." They did as they were told and filled in the desks of the absent people. Class was really awkward without Token's smartass comments and Emily's ... well she didn't really do anything except take up space and crack the occasional joke when the teacher's back was turned, but still, it was missed. Literally five seconds before the bell rang, Emily burst into the classroom, with blue lips and fingertips. The class was a little releived to have this distraction, but Emily was a little blindsid.

MORE new kids? She looked at the girl with the cool hair in her own seat for a split-second when the bell rang. It caused her to jump a little, and her bag literally broke off her arm like an icicle and spilled frozen papers everywhere. The kids stepped over the mess awkwardly, and Emily looked for Kyle's support. It seems he was talking to Mr.Garrison about something. She looked up for any help, but just saw Clyde give her the same disappointed look, like nothing could ever change what she did. Wonderful. She stepped on a piece of paper and slipped onto her back. "SHIT!" she crouched on the ground, reeling in pain. Kyle came up behind her and chuckled. "You really need a new bag," he rubbed her back. He seemed to heal the pain she was in. She gave him a small smile and shoved everything back into her bag. "Oh, damn. Gym isn't co-ed this year. I'll see you at lunch!" he planted his soft lips on her frozen blue ones for just a second, and ran off to the boys changeroom. She held her gaze on him until he was out of sight. Guess what happened the second she broke her gaze? Her bag broke again.

_That's it. I'm getting a new one._

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily didn't have gym, she didn't even know what she had. She saw noone heading for any classrooms. But she did see Kristin heading straight for her. "Hey Em," she was acting like she knew her more than she did. "Uhh, Wendy wants you to know she's awfully sorry about the whole mess, and she really hopes you two will become friends." It was like she was reading a script. Kristin feigned sincerity in her expression, but it was clearly some sort of ploy. Emily just accepted it with a smile and a nod. Kristin giddily grinned and skipped off to her master. What the hell happened to her? She's getting all 'girly'. _I must save her from that bitchy world. Just like I did with Bebe, _she bit her lip. Do I have.. shop class? Damn, it was getting sissy. Mr.Adler just sat there staring at a picture of an ugly woman named Susan the entire time, while the class fiddled around with the appliances. There wasn't much noise either, besides the occasional "GAHH!" from Tweek, who eventually just transferred into the Boys' Gym Class, with Kyle and all the others. She slipped into the class and sat beside Heidi and Carly. They were pretty nice, except for that time at Heidi's party, when they all were taunting the girl named Marjorine. Emily was the one who led her to the washroom so she could start crying. Not nice, per say, but it wasn't cruel like all the other girls. Anyways, after about 15 minutes of twiddling around with the hacksaws and confusion from Mr.Adler's leering at the photograph, the Home Ec teacher came in holding a big tray of cookies. "I baked you some cookies, Richard," then sniffed them for effect. Pitiful. She attempted to get him into bed with food. Not the right way to go, missy. Well, it didn't work anyways, it just reduced 'Richard' to a sniveling, weeping, bawling baby. He had many issues. Ten issues. Tennis shoes. Emily liked that word joke. It ended well, everyone got a cookie, and the Home Ec lady got to sit on Mr.Adler's lap and feed him Nicotine gum until he was better. Then she played some random "DIO" song from the stereo to entertain him. Freakin' Weirdos, Man.

--- --- --- --- ---

Shit. Hash Goulach Crap for lunch today. There was no way out, either. The emergency bag of Doritos she kept in her bag was stomped on, no doubt by Wendy. And to make matters worse, that damn DIO song was stuck in her head. "Holy divah, you've been down too lowng in the midnight SEEEAA," she belted out in a mezzo tone, as she joined the lunch line. Bebe and Carly laughed and bobbed their heads. Kyle came up behind her, "What are we singing?" he playfully flicked Emily's shoulder. They continued laughing and Carly replied, "Just some old DIO song," then they all belted the lyrics again. Kyle stared into space for awhile, like he'd just expirienced Deja Vu. Emily waved her hand infront of his face, but to no avail. She leaned over and pecked him on the lips. He blinked. "There we go," she giggled. He smiled at the floor, and shook his past memories out of his head. Bebe knew why the sudden change of mood occured, but just passed it off with another joke. "Looks like ol' Susan's got competition!" she broke the silence. Carly made a strange noise that could only be considered nervous laughter, and received the Hash Goulach on her tray. Kyle was still a little phased, like he'd had an epiphany. Bebe got her food and joined Carly as quick as she could. They accompanied the table with Kenny and Tweek. Kyle and Emily awkwardly got their food and sat down across from eachother on the "Couples' Table", as the losers like Wendy insisted on calling it. "AHH! Where's Stan? Has he been kidnapped? OH GOD! He's dead isn't he? AHH!" Carly affectionately put her finger on Tweek's lips, forming the "shh" position. "He's over there, Tweek. Don't be so damn paranoid!" Kenny clearly stated, after removing his hood and giving Bebe a kiss on the cheek. It was true, he was sitting alongside that Lauren girl with Sally on her shirt. Clyde and the girl named 'Milla Killa' ate with them. Emily turned bluer than her lips were. Clyde looked so happy with Milla. No, it can't be. She held her fork in midair, until the food dropped on her teal jeans. Carly also took notice of the girl with the Jack t-shirt on and the fire hair giggling with Stan. Carly "hmph'ed" and rubbed Tweek's inner thigh with her palm. He shook a little less effectively, and let out a long breath. Kyle finally blurted out something, "Do you guys remember last year's Bay of Pigs Memorial dance?" He looked frantic. Tweek shuddered at the thought. Stan was out to duct tape that Mark kid to the flagpole, so Tweek was forced to dance with Wendy. He'd plastered a smile on, as much as it pained him. But it was a one-time thing, and it was the easiest ten bucks he'd ever made. Kyle grabbed Emily's arm the second she'd finished eating and pulled her into the hall. "Take our trays back, will ya?" he directed Kenny. He pulled Emily out to the hall and seriously looked into her eyes. "There's something you need to know. I have some.. skeletons in the closet, so to speak."

--- --- --- --- ---

Until next time, »aym«


	15. Doesn't Seem Right

**Doesn't Seem Right**

A/N" It's all relative after this. Shes at it yet again. I don't care if I'm cheesy, I LOVE KYLE!

--- --- --- --- ---

" -giggle- Okay Kristin, go ahead!" Wendy and Kristin were giggling in the hall during lunch. They both held stacks of pink papers, photocopied advertisements of some 'party' at Wendy's house later that week. Kristin was having fun being Wendy's new BFF, but it felt kinda phony at the same time. All she did was bitch about that girl with Stan these days, and brag about her next party, like it was freakin' Christmas. She faked a giggle, and obeyed with an "Alright." Kristin sprinted through the hall, dropping dozens of invitations as she went. Wendy invented that form of advertising. She snickered. She could get anyone to do anything she wants. _Muahaha_, she thought. _I am the queen of the school_. Kristin shuddered. Subconciously, she knew this life was empty and shallow. She wanted more than anything to run into that lunch hall and stick her tounge down Eric's throat... I mean Craig's. Maybe.

--- --- --- --- ---

Tweek and Carly escaped the lunch hall to fool around in the janitor's closet (Kenny referred the place to Tweek.) Kenny and Bebe were left alone, sitting together on the 'Couples Table'. Kenny leaned toward little Bebe and lay his head on her lap. She was choking on her laugher, just shaking slightly. _Yeah baby, its making them jiggle._ He muffled. She gave him a weird look. It was the 5th time that day he'd said something violently sexual to her. Was this considered **Sexual Harrasment**? She couldn't ask the panda either, because he transformed into "Petey the Dont Sue People Panda". Bebe nervously giggled while Kenny subtly fondled her tiny breasts.

--- --- --- --- ---

"... and I didn't want to tell you, because you'd be angry... and you might not like me anymore." Kyle finished a l-o-o-o-ng speech about Rebecca and that asshole Mark who kept touching his balls when he tackled him. Noone knew he was gayer than tight pink lederhosen. Emily twitched a little. She thought for a minute. That was the scariest story she had ever heard. EVER. It didn't mean she would be mad, she was glad to hear about the 'skeletons'. She just didn't understand why he'd made such a big deal out of it. If it was all in the past, what's to worry about? Unless his past feelings for her came back. He was still in love with the slut with hair bigger than Diana Ross! Not something Emily could deal with. She turned away from him, tearing. She sat on the floor, thinking about Rebecca. He would never come to terms with his everlasting feelings. "..I knew you'd be mad. It's just.." he turned her around. Emily's hair was infront of her face, covering a sniffling mess. "I KNEW IT!" Clyde's booming rage from behind them. "YOU FUCKING DICK! YOU JUST CANT DO THAT TO HER AGAIN! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" he tackled Kyle, sending them across the hall. Kyle cowered under the beating of the enraged Clyde. Cartman approached and said something. She was too distraught to care. The fight was paused, Kyle looked to Emily for support. Emily snapped. How could she let this happen? She started, "...Clyde?"

--- --- --- --- ---

Eric Theidore Cartman fished through his yellow backpack for his extra cheesey poofs. On the contrary to his suicidal state, he was fatter than ever. He crazily snacked on everything in his poor mother's house. He was leaving the lunch hall a little early for an eye appointment. Apparently that asshole Ophthalmologist was trying to give him huge glasses again. It was total bullshit. At least he got out of going to Art class with all those other artsy fags like Butters. Everyone could see Kenny's boneration, even from outside. He was poking Bebe's boob. Jeez man, grow up! Don't treat women like fucking objects. Stan and the new chick with the red streaks was laughing at Jason again. It's sorta funny that Jason is bald, though. Fosse is also pretty bald. What is with the male-pattern baldness these days? Lauren pinched Stan in the 'area', and he puked a little bit. She looked a little confused, but she just wiped it off with a tissue. Cute, but quite corny.

Cartman pulled his sketchbook out. F, F, F. Yep, he sucked at Art. That art whore Mrs.Streeble was just out to get him. What a whore. The janitor's closet door was viciously shaking, he could sorta feel an earthquake under him as well. God, Pip and Damien should really get a room! Tweek and Carly were waiting patiently outside it. Pfft, it's like its 'their turn' later on. "KISS MY HAIRY BEANBAG, ASSHOLE!" came from the hall. Cartman ran out to see what the FUCK was up. It appeared that Clyde was molestering Kyle, and Emily was crying about it. "AY! WE JUST HAD LUNCH YOU DICKHOLES! DON'T MAKE US BARF IT UP!" Kyle and Clyde looked sharply at him, Kyle looking a little scared. Cartman _could_ help the covetist Jew, but then he'd be a hippie. Either way, the fight was postponed, and it was time for his eye appointment. "OW! God DAMNIT!" he tripped on a pink slip of paper. Come to think of it, they were **everywhere**. Wendy must be having another party. Bitch.

--- --- --- --- ---

Kristin hid in the washroom to eat her Golden Delicious apple. Wendy didn't allow her to eat, apparently she wasn't skinny enough. Skank. She planned out the outfits that they were to wear at the party. Kristin was supposed to wear a skin-tight white leather micromini, and a bare midriff. Her top had to say "BRAT" or something provocative, in a matching color. Wendy would wear the same thing, except a red leather micromini. Damn, people were annoying when they did that. It just wasn't worth it, being Wendy's friend. She didn't even know what she SAW in being Wendy's friend. She guessed she just pitied her for her pathetic grudge with Stan.

The washroom door opened. Kristin stood on the toilet seat, for fear of being caught by a teacher, or worse, Wendy. Someone was sniffing and crying. Whoever it was, turned on the water and sobbed even louder. Kristin peeked under the toilet stall. The girl wore pink and white adidas shoes. "Bebe?" She opened the door and approached her. Bebe's eyes were wide and frightful. _Jeez, what is it with girls crying in the washroom? Also, why do I have to be the one who supports them?_ Bebe held her face with a paper towel. "He's.. he's scaring me." Bebe was crying because of fright? Wha? "Who is?" Kristin was beyond confused. "K-K-K-Kenny. He's making me really uncomfortable and touching me inside my private areas. Every time he does it, he sings the Fingerbang song." Ewwwwwwww. Kristin was mortified. "Uhh, ew. Gotta go!" She ran out of the washroom and right into Kenny. He was waiting for her to leave. Creep. "Hey, is Bebe almost done?" Kristin rolled her eyes. "...okay. Clyde's kicking Kyle's ass near the Science room, if you wanna check it out."

--- --- --- --- ---

"...I want you to leave."

Kyle's face was bruised purple and black. Bits of his hair stuck out his hat. His coat was bloody and ripped. It was great pain. He felt like Clyde was some sort of werewolf. He was quiet and stupid in class, then when Emily comes into the picture, he was all sensetive and vengeful. Kyle had never meant to cause anyone pain, its just, peace in love is nonexistent. Except in Tweek and Carly's case. No one had even dreamed to screw around with them. Rawr. Clyde stood up. "What do you mean? He's ruining your life!" Clyde was baffled. "That doesn't matter. I'm in better condition now than I ever was. I was a blushing, obsessive maniac before Kyle. Sure people like to mess things up with us, but the fact that we get through it makes it a whole lot more meaningful." Clyde made a face. "But..." he turned around and slowly walked away. Ever so slowly. Emily scooted over to where the injured Kyle lay. "It doesn't matter what other people say, all that matters is that I love him." Emily pulled Kyle up and looked into his sparkling emerald eyes, one of them blackened. "I love you," she looked down. "You've seen me through all this bullcrap, but you still stick with me." Kyle's bleeding lip formed a gentle smile. His eyes were watering a little bit. "You came back after everything that was rumoured. You're heart is loyal and I love that." Kyle brushed Emily's hair aside, and held her face. "I love you," he returned, and got a little closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a little peck. He pulled her closer and romantically kissed her. It wasn't the longest kiss, but it was the kiss of true love.

--- --- --- --- ---

Until next time, »aym«


	16. Therially?

**Therially?**

A/N" Smooth going for Emily finally. Although its once again a bumpy road for Cartman.

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily woke up on a snowy Thursday. It was just two days since Kyle had said those three beautiful words back to her. They echoed in her head like some sort of illusion. "I LOVE YOU." It was pure joy implanted in her heart. Although Clyde had stood up for her with all his might, she just didn't realize it then. She had attained some feelings for his sweetness. I mean, he'd cared enough to yell at Kyle, and accept her when she thought she'd lost Kyle. He'd just cared through and through. Maybe more than Kyle does. Something was always wrong in her life, maybe that just the way its meant to be. Still, she felt something strong about Clyde after it all. To make matters worse, Wendy was having another party. Thing is, she had Kristin say this line to everyone in the grade, "I hope you two will be friends," so it wasn't genuinely nice in the end. She heard Krisin say it to Heidi, who reacted with a girlish squeak. Heidi was joining in their little 'leather micromini' club. God, Kristin used to be so nice...

_Stop focusing on your goddamn problems. You have a great boyfriend who you love to death. Go to school, and don't be such a jew._

...-GASP!-

--- --- --- --- ---

"Okay children, its tayme to re-do our egg assaynmints, since so manay couples were fowrmed in the payst month. Lets see if yau can hayndle being with someone aylse than youre damn lovers!" Mr.Garrison was feeling evil that day. Unfortunately, Clyde didn't show up, so Emily was left yearning for him. She needed to stop trying to get what she couldn't have. He really had the strangest couples formed. Ironically, there were more boys in the class than girls, so Pip HAD to go with Damien. Damien winked at Pip, and held his hand, while Mr.Garrison cringed. Everyone could tell he was a little turned on. Carly was unfortunately paired with Cartman. Hehe, their names sound alike. Kristin got to be with Token, and Emily was paired up with Tweek. Stan luckily got to go with his date too, Lauren...Kalinowski? She was wearing a Willy Wonka shirt at the moment. Wow, she had cool clothes! Mr.Garrison was labeling the names together, just like last time. "And Wendy... Wendy will be with Kyle, again." Stan and Emily gulped. "K-Kyle?" Emily squeaked. Kyle smiled at Emily and mouthed "Its okay, I'll still love you". Emily blushed her signature deep purple. "Don't worry Emily, I'm not _that_ slutty," Wendy chirped with a smile. All the guys in the class scoffed at Wendy, and all the girls giggled. Eww. Wendy was obviously trying to get Emily on her side for some reason. Just that damn party. Turns out that bitch with blue hair, Milla Killa, got to go with Clyde, because she was the only girl left. Emily sniffed. She was torn.

All the 'couples' sat together, and everyone got an egg. To some people, a project like this would be easy as pie. PAHH! But really, it was one of those flimsy white ones that break if you hold them too tight. Rawr. Tweek was a good partner, but all he did was talk about Carly, the way she looked, the way she smelled, etc. Emily was bored out of her mind. "...and, and -twitch- she always kisses me goodnight AHH! And -twitch- she just holds me like she'll never let g-GAHH-go.." Obsessed much? Grr, why was Emily even thinking that, when she was probably the most obsessive freak of them all. She glued a burgundy pompom on the top of her egg and carfully drew big green eyes. They looked a little messy, because she was trying not to stab and break the egg with her marker. Tweek was laughing because of its uncanny resembelance to Kyle. Emily blushed and made a hunter's hat out of turtle-green felt and forest-green felt. Tweek twitched then rolled his aqua eyes. Not to far away, Carly and Cartman were fighting over what their egg was to look like. "Wheeeeheheee..." he whined, "I want it to have chestnut haiiiiir and bleu eeeeyess!" It was like he was whining to his mother. "YOU JUST WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE KRISTIN BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER!" Carly screamed at the top of her lungs, "YOU CANT EVER GET OVER HER, SO FREAKIN ASK HER OUT! I KNOW SHE WANTS YOU TO!" The class fell silent. Then they all turned to a blushing bright red Kristin. Cartman, on the other hand, turned a pale white. "Well, thank you for sharing that with us, Carly and Eric. Now you lil bastards shut the hell up and finish your eggs. You can go when the lunch bell rings." Pip raised his hand, "What is for lunchy-munchy today, hmm?" Mr.Garrison just ignored the little Brit.

This project could not get any gayer.

--- --- --- --- ---

Thursday night, Carly, Tweek, Kristin, Kyle, aaaand Emily were all there to help him with his french homework. It took him a hell of a lot of help to understand ONE word. Kristin didn't say much since the little outburst in the class, but she came to escape Wendy's party blabbing wrath. Craig was upset, but still thought Kristin was his girlfriend. Craig couldn't come because of his damn basketball practise again. "Okay, fatass. What is a '_chien_' in English?" Cartman thought. He was too dumb to take Spanish like everyone else, so he was forced to take French. It was supposed to be a step down, but Cartman found it even harder. Sadly, to everyone else, it was a piece of cake. Or PAHH! Kristin excused herself to go to the washroom, speed-walking out of the awkward study group. "Uhhh... does '_chien_' mean when unlucky dudes get the crabs?" Emily and Carly exchanged creeped out glances. Kyle was a little annoyed, "No, dewwwd! It means a **dog**!" Cartman hit his head on the desk. "Okay, dude. Me and Em are gonna go. We got a double-date with Stan and that new girl Lauren," he took a still-blushing Emily by the hand. Tweek sat down on Cartmans bed, "AHH!" Carly giggled. She was always needed to calm him. She put her hand around his hip and held it right on his ass. Tweek continued, "So, whats a '_chien_'?" Cartman thought intensely, "Umm, its another name for that disease girls get when they leave tampons in too long!" "GAHH! SICK DUDE!" Tweek shrieked. Carly held the Kristin-resembling egg and set it on Cartman's nightstand. Cartman turned to Carly. "Did you mean what you said?" Carly thought for a moment, checking if Kristin came back yet. "Well, yeah. She's been caught in the middle with you guys ever since the time we played 'Truth-or-Dare'... I thought you knew that. I'm _thuper duper therial!_" Tweek felt quite awkward. Cartman looked at his french homework and sighed. "I can't deal with this right now. Just go." Tweek, just like Kristin, speed-walked out of there. Carly got to the door, and stopped in her tracks. "Just think about it. I know she does." She is a person who sees through masked feelings, so she knew Cartman had Kristin racing through his mind. Carly joined Tweek in the hall, and peered into the washroom. Kristin was sitting on the carpet, frivolously rubbing her eyes. Carly shrugged and smiled at Tweek. "God.. Cartman really sucks ass at French." Carly held Tweeks hips, "So Tweek, Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?" Tweek dipped Carly like a spanish dancer and kissed her like the last kiss Jack and Rose shared. "We'll see what -twitch- happens," Tweek winked. They exited Cartman's house excitedly.

--- --- --- --- ---

Shaky's 8:24pm-- Kyle and Emily met Stan and Lauren at the romantic booth. The restaurant was completely empty except for an agitated waitress and the two couples. "mm.. can you order, already?" the waitress was tapping her foot. "Uhh sure. Two big sundaes. That'll be all." Stan smiled at the **pissed off** woman. "Oh, and three chocolate mousses to go," Lauren grinned. She and Emily had a 'Tim Burton-related' conversation, while Stan leaned in and whispered to Kyle, "She says she wants to slather the mousse on my body, and lick it off! I don't even know what slathering IS!" Kyle cringed. They sure were being expirimental! Kyle and Emily were playing footsie, thats pretty much as expirimental as they were going to get. _And if you go.. I wanna go with you.. and if you die.. I wanna die with you. _Kyle sang "Lonely Day" in his head. He felt a little intimidated by Stan and Lauren. Where did she even come from? The sundaes came, and Emily's face was covered in chocolate by the end of it. So was Kyle's and everyone elses, but it was just so childish and cute of her. Stan and Lauren walked home for their own "Slathering fun" and Kyle walked Emily home.

"So.. tomorrow's Wendy's party, huh?" Emily hoped Kyle didn't want to go. "Yep.. yet another attempt to win Stan," Kyle joked. "What time do you want me to pick you up for it?" Oh he did want to go. "Oh.. umm, seven?" she looked at the ground she was walking on. "Hopefully it'll be more fun than the dance," he smiled. "Hopefully," she agreed, as they reached her doorstep. "Well, I gotta go. My mom will freak if I'm home later than 10," Kyle's mother ruined it again. "Okay, well.. I'll see you tomorrow," Emily tilted her head. "Love you," Somehow 'love you' was less meaningful as 'I love you'. I mean you can say 'love you' to your friends, or a new boyfriend, but 'I love you' means a whole lot more. And it's just one word! Emily smiled anyways, she knew what he meant. "Love you too!" she squeaked, and they shared a chocolate-flavoured kiss.

--- --- --- --- ---

Until next time, »aym«


	17. Spin the Fucking Bottle

**Spin the Fucking Bottle**

A/N" Bet you're wondering what's going to happen at Wendy's party? Let's see, now...

--- --- --- --- ---

Friday was a little bit creepy on Clyde's behalf. He was forced to do an egg assignment with Milla Killa because he was absent. She'd decorated the egg to look like some scary Goth, with real makeup all over it. Milla was a decent person, she was just too scary to have a conversation with. All she ever talked about was music she liked, movies she liked, etc. Clyde was bored out of his small mind. Milla grazed Clyde's hand 'accidentally', and put their egg into a pouch they'd made earlier. Clyde looked at her like, "what the HELL are you doing?", but she just winked at him. "Wanna listen to my iPod?" Before he could answer, she shoved an earphone into the ear closest to her and scrolled around her green iPod mini for the perfect song. "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt blared into Clyde's unsuspecting ear. He was a little intimidated. Girls were never so forward with him. Emily was always so much more distant with him than open. Milla mouthed the words "I saw your face.. In a crowded place" while yearning into Clyde's cappacino-colored eyes. Clyde 'ahem'ed and continued his work on the egg. He was sort of uncomfortable with all the attention he was getting. He wasn't even a happy person these days, after Emily totally ditched him at the dance, then swore off her last chance with him in the hall. It was a tough position, but springing to some random girl wasn't something he wanted to support. He scootched a little bit further from her and gave her back the iPod earphone. She sighed but pondered, _Hmm, this cutie is tougher than I thought. Maybe this is what ill grow to like about him. Odd, he seems like such a vulnerable dork.. it should be easy to sway him. Maybe at the raven girl's party tonight..._

Cartman was a little dodgy ever since the night before. He'd found Kristin with puffy red eyes in his bathroom minutes after Carly and Tweek left. They'd had a small talk about things, but he'd confirmed he couldn't put himself in a weak position like that, like he was pointlessly putting himself out there. Kristin had agreed to make everything clear to both him and Craig before she made a final decision of what she would do. Craig had no idea about Kristin's feelings, just passing it off as a cruel rumour. Kristin tried to kiss him again, but he just held the door open for her. She'd sullenly left, and was forced to go to Wendy's house for an impromptu 'emergency' related to the space in her basement. She ended up spending the night moving the furniture as Wendy kept a close watch of ... the television set. Wendy was **really** getting on her nerves! She seemed so meek and nice when she told Kristin about her feelings in the washroom, but then she just turned out to be the calculating critical bitch she always was. Kristin knew know, "some things never change!" Anyhow, Heidi joined their little "clique" and was to wear a pink leather micromini. Kristin groaned, leaving her two admirers, Cartman and Craig, (on either side of her) to wonder if the other had farted.

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily was in her room, anticipating the party and how it would affect her situation at school. She wondered if Clyde would show up with that blue-haired bitch, and if Wendy would try and steal Stan from Lauren. They were quite a cute couple, despite some things they were doing. Thankfully, the 'slathering' thing was a joke, the mousses were just for Lauren's family. They don't go out much. But honestly, she really respected Stan and Lauren. They weren't all public with their love, more mysterious than anything. Except for that one public kiss after the dance. But, c'mon! It was a special occasion! Everyone kisses at dances. Emily smiled, she had no more to worry about. She was with a 'nice Jewish boy', as her Mom liked to call it. She was just like Christina Aguliera. Ew. Don't ever think that again. She put on her Betty Boop tee, and some dark-wash jeans. Her sisters scoffed at her when she came downstairs. Emily escaped into the kitchen and flicked through her white nano for a soothing song. "Feeling Good." That was Emily's stress-releiving song. During the time when she first met Kyle, she would listen to that song every time she was around him. Also, a song her and Kyle liked to call their 'song' like an old married couple, was "Lonely Day," by System of a Down. Maybe she could get Wendy to play it at the party...

_**ding dong!**_

"YES!" Emily stood up out of her chair and raced to the door. Luckily, her sisters were out of sight. Kyle was standing at the door with his hands shyly behind his back. Emily blushed a little when she saw how cute he looked. She should of reconsidered the Betty Boop shirt! He was wearing an emerald Lacoste polo that brought out his eyes, and gray jeans. His hair was combed, just like when they played 'Truth-or-Dare.' Emily was uncontrollably smiling at Kyle's shoes. Red and black checked Vans. The hottest shoes around. "Are you ready?" he anxiously fidgeted. "Yep, one sec." She fluffed her hair and put in a chunky black headband. Instant fancy. For fear of her sisters coming back, she ran into her black and white checked Vans and booked it out the door.

--- --- --- --- ---

Wendy's house was surprisingly ugly, purple bricks with her famous piss-pants yellow curtains hanging from the windows. Maybe their family dyed more than just the pants with piss. Interesting. "This is where Stan was standing with a boombox over his head last year," Kyle sadly looked at the ground. "Aww." Damn, way to depress me! "Well, it looks like some people are already here. Let's go!" She took his warm hand and entered the house without knocking. It seems people were 'mingling', much to Wendy's disappointment. A few people were laughing at Tweek's hair. Emily thought it looked quite nice. Hot even. It wasn't gelled or anything, it just reminded her of a beach-blonde Pete Wentz's hairdo. Carly was adoring it with a passion. She was just holding his shoulders and staring at it. Maybe _that's_ what they were laughing at.

"**ALL MY PEEPS, THE BROUHAHA WILL COMMENCE DOWNSTAIRS! LET THE BROUHAHA BEGIN!**" Wendy screamed in her super-high voice.

Oh my fucking lord. What a geek. She's _clearly_ trying to make it sound 'exotic' or 'tropical' or something. Not like their outfits matched that. They looked like exotic dancers, but that's the closest they would ever get. Kristin was wearing a red shirt that said, "FCUK THIS", that matched her white micromini. She reminded Emily of Elvis. Pfft. Heidi wore a white shirt that said, "BITCH, PLEASE", matching her pink skirt, and Wendy wore a pink shirt that said, in goopy white writing, "SPERM DUMPSTER", perfectly going with her red leather skirt, that barely covered her drooping ass. "Sick, dude!" Kyle cried, gesturing to Wendy's overloaded pink eyeliner and clown red lips.

Anyways, everyone "COMMENCED" down the staircase, and into a wannabe 'Stupid Spoiled Whore" party. There was a closet with pillows and blankets, and a sign on the door, "2 minutes in the closet!" Like anyone would participate in those slut games. There was a bottle with much space around it, which drew quite a few people close. "I guess Wendy wants to play 'spin the bottle' and kiss Stan..." Kyle rolled his eyes. Emily was somewhat disappointed that Kyle didn't want to join the well-intended fun, but she understood his caution, considering it _was_ Wendy's party.

--- --- --- --- ---

Milla dragged Clyde down the stairs. She'd been trying to 'court' him all day. He was just too tough to crack. It just made her want him even more. Clyde tried to initiate a conversation with Craig, who, by the way, everyone was confused he'd even shown, but Milla just thrust him against the wall. "Let's play spin the bottle!" she smiled into his pretty eyes. "Umm... no thank you, Milla. I'm fine." Milla rolled her eyes. "Come ON!" she moved her face closer. "Uhh... I think I'm just going to go home now." He tried to escape her powerful grip. "No.. just do it. Spin the fucking bottle with me."

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Until next time, »aym«


	18. Such A Lonely Day

**Such a Lonely Day...**

A/N" What the FUCK is wrong with Wendy sometimes? And some funny characters come in here!

--- --- --- --- ---

The spin-the-bottle circle was confusing. People kept joining, then people kept leaving because, "we wouldn't goddamn start already!" Kristin had slipped on a pair of stretch jeans, and put a simple FOB hoodie overtop her skanky midriff top. She shuffled into the corner, where Milla and Clyde were close enough to kiss. He looked scared shitless of her, yet she was enthralled with him. "Uh.. okay, okay. I'll play." he held his throat, lucky he wasn't choked. They both joined the circle. Kristin had been alone ever since she'd let Cartman slip away the night before. She'd thought she had convinced him that he was the one she wanted, when Craig was just something of the past. Craig was still eyeing her as his girlfriend, even though they haven't talked since the dance...

Kyle didn't want to be so conventional with Emily. It just didn't feel the same as when he was with Rebecca. He would have played it with Rebecca, just, Emily was much different. She understood things, for one. 'Spin-the-Bottle' was a little too immature for 9-year-olds, anyways. He took her inside the 2 Minutes in Heaven closet.. where everyone made sure to steer clear of. Kyle was a Jew, and they tend to spoil their women, as he was heard. Either way, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a green present bag. Emily looked at him strangely, "What's this for?" Kyle smiled at her, "It's for, just everything. We've been through a hell of a lot to get here, and I just want to let you know how much it meant to me," he felt like a sissy, but he was putting himself out there for a good cause. Emily turned barbie-pink. She took the present and kissed his cheek in one swift motion. Pulling out the present was like entering into heaven. It was a little heart locket. Just like the ones in the movies, where you can put the little pictures inside. The special thing was the color, it was a rich sapphire color, like the necklace from Titanic. He opened the link and motioned for her to lift her hair up. It was ultimate pleasure, feeling the slight graze of his hand on the back of her neck. Kyle kissed behind Emily's ear and whispered, "I'm pretty sure people think we're fooling around in here." Emily leapt up and out of the closet, over to where Wendy was directing people's every move. Kyle laughed and followed. "Hey, come join the fun!" she sounded drunk, for some reason. Maybe Kenny spiked the punch. Or the punch was clear, and smelled like Christian Slater. Serving VODKA at a 9-year-old party! "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" she screamed at Wendy. The sheer volume caused people in the room to quiver. Emily could never control her feelings anymore.

--- --- --- --- ---

Tweek and Carly were last seen sneaking into Wendy's parents room, so noone else bothered to question the subject. A few people left after some of Emily's bloodcurdling screaming. Actually, QUITE a few left. Like, there were only Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Lauren, Kevin, Carly and Tweek (still in her parents room), Kenny and Bebe (in the closet), Clyde, Milla, Kristin, and Heidi. Kristin was listening to her iPod, so she was oblivious to any sound occuring outside her speakers. Heidi was trying to seduce Kevin, with gentle back-rubbing, and thong-showing. The only response she got was him standing up and heading for the door. Well that was fucking great. Heidi chased after him, shedding her micromini and top.

Through all the screaming, Wendy felt it calming down. Emily got to the part about her pointless obsession with Stan, and Wendy sat down to listen to her bitching. Suddenly, Bebe burst out the closet, tears spilling down her face. "G-get away from me!" Kenny emerged, pulling his hood down, singing, "I'm gonna FingerbangBANG you into my life! Girl you like to Fingerbang and IT'S ALRIGHT!" The crowd fell silent, even Milla, who was forcing her tounge down Clyde's struggling throat, looked up. Bebe was hiding behind the chair Wendy was sitting at. Kenny slowly walked up to the chair. Wendy thought he was coming for her, so she started _fareaking auwt_! She covered her "Private Parts" and kicked her stilettos in the air. Man, those heels were lowng. They even seemed to leave an imprint in the floor wherever she walked. Like they stabbed the floor. Of course, she kicked one off her foot, and it hit him right in the fourhead, shooting him toward the wall.

"Great." Stan reacted. "Bastard," he shot at Wendy. Bebe straightened up and sighed. "I had no idea of the sexual abuse he was putting me in... I just thought he loved me..." she looked at her pink Adidas shoes. Clyde escaped the force of Milla and supported Bebe's shoulder, "Well, you should know he was a sick, disgusting perv." Then he sat back down beside Milla. To her suprise, he faced her, expecting to endure some pain. She didn't really care anymore, that he was so easy. She liked scaring boys who didn't like her. It was more 'her thing.' "I'll seeya later, guys!" she waved goodbye to everyone but Wendy and Clyde.

As she walked upstairs, she saw that Kevin was taped to the coffee table, and Heidi was caressing his hair, saying seductive things. Ew. Then, as she got closer to the upstairs staircase, she heard some music blaring. It was music she **liked**, too! It was unmistakably AFI's "Prelude 1221." She climbed the staircase, the music getting louder as she went. It was coming from the parents room. Milla braced herself as she slowly peeked in. Oh thank GOD! No X-Rated Anime Fun! Just a ruffled bed sheet, revealing they were making out, and Tweek and Carly slow-dancing to the music coming from the stereo. "Aww," she whispered as she closed the door and left.

--- --- --- --- --- ---

The door was shutting, then the wind blew in and slammed it hard. "Whoa.." Carly pulled away from Tweek. "Its exactly 12:21am!" Tweek flipped his blonde feathery spikes and checked the clock. "That means this must be 'our song', like the way married couples use it!" Carly made no response, so Tweek blushed purple. "Ohh, I get it, like 'John.. they're playing our song!'" They both laughed and Tweek kissed Carlys neck. "It's getting late, we'd better get out of this bitch's parent's room!" He took a still-giggling Carly out of the room. When they exited through the back door and around the side-part of her house, they saw headlights shining right at them. "Shit, RUN!" they jumped the fence, and behind a bush, laughing at how close they were. They were panting in the bright night. Carly looked into Tweek's eyes and smirked. This is a good oppurtunity. I mean, they'd just finished their romantic night out.. but, I mean, cumb own! She tackled him with kisses and it slowly turned into a silent but violent love minute. Or minutes. Or half hour. It could go on.

--- --- --- --- ---

Wendy's parents were about halfway to Nebraska, when her dumbfuck redhead DAD swerved off the road because of some damn snowbunnies. They had no choice but to replace their tire and travel back home. When they got there, some kids flashed before them, then disappeared. "Honey, did you run them over!" Why did she have to marry an irrational redhead. It completely screwed up their daughter's genes. The second they got out of the car, she checked underneath to see if dead kids lay before her. Luckily, he'd missed them. "We'll probably be sued anyway for your wreckless driving, Henry!" she started for their door. "Okay? Tina, okay? Just, don't stress me out! I've had a long hard day, okay?" he talked so passively, as redheads do. Tina sighed and entered their tacky purple house. All she saw was a half-naked child taped to their table, and little Heidi dressed like Pamela Anderson, smearing chocolate on his torso. All she heard was "Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton coming from the basement. "What the HELL did our daughter do now!" Tina screeched, forgetting about Heidi's steady raping scene. She blundered down the staircase, as Henry was unloading the car.

--- --- --- --- ---

Kyle and Emily were laughing with Kristin and Cartman, who were luckily getting along better, when they heard the basement door open. Quick as a cat Kyle, grabbed Emily and shut the closet door behind them to hide. Cartman hid under the staircase, alongside a shaking Kristin. Clyde joined them. Cartman took her shoulder and held it close to him, as he could **not** risk getting grounded again. Not for you. Not for anyone. Bebe, Wendy, and a still stabbed to the wall Kenny were left alone. Wendy's mother Tina was astounded. "Wendilyn Mary-Sue-Ellen-Lou-Sydney-Barbara Testaburger, what in god's name are you DOING!" Wendy crumpled up on the floor. Kristin was shaking with laughter, finally she would get it! Bebe managed to slip out, her mother was so angry. Like in the old movies, Tina took Wendy's ear upstairs to her room. She would get a long 'talking to'. It seems that Heidi's rapefest was cancelled, even though Kevin still lay there, wearing nothing but underwear. In their basement, Cartman was squeezing Kristin's trembling hand for comfort. She smiled at him and he smiled back, but sighed. "All you'll do is change your mind again." he started up the stairs. "But.. No, C-Cartman, I just-" he was gone. Kristin pouted at her heely shoes. Clyde patted her back for support, but all he got was a sniff, and the sight of Kristin digging her face into Pete Wentz's face on her sweater. Clyde wondered where Emily and Kyle disappeared off to. He wondered what he _didn't_ see in that Milla girl! "I've finally moved on." he smiled proudly. Kristin looked up at him like "DoubleYou-Tee-Eff?" He ran upstairs. Kristin saw no point in staying in the basement that smelled like alcohol and projectile vomit. It really has its own smell, really. She sneaked upstairs to see a struggling Kevin with a frantic look on his face. "Whoa, dude. I'm not even going to **touch** that one!" she started for the front door, then realized, who else is going to let him out! She untaped his mouth, arms, legs, neck. "-CoughCough- thanks, Kristin," he searched for his clothes. "Uh.. yeah okay. Bye." Well that was RUDE. But who can blame her? She was in the unsolvable situation!

--- --- --- --- ---

Back inside the closet, Emily and Kyle were vigorously trying to pop the basement window open. It was 12:45 already! Kyle, at ultra-speed, snuck out of the closet, into the dark basement, and pulled out the stiletto from Kenny's forehead, sending him crashing down on the stereo. But the wierdest thing happened. "Lonely Day" by System Of A Down played on the facedown stereo. Emily, hearing the sound, tiptoed out to Kyle. They both blushed, softly laughing. They had no option but to dance to it, even though it was creepy to dance over Kenny's bleeding corpse. "And if you go, I wanna go with you... And if you die, I wanna die with you," Kyle whispered along with the lyrics. Emily giggled and accidentally stepped on the stereo. "Shit, let's go before we get into trouble!" Kyle panicked. Aww, what a cute little Jew. Emily grabbed the shoe and tossed it at the thin window, leaving a break with enough room to wiggle out. Kyle jumped on a few boxes to get out, then pulled Emily out after her. Oh great, it was raining. Emily strained to cover her head, she didn't want gross hair infront of Kyle. "Not to worry," he pulled the hat off his pocket and placed it on her too-small head. "I never go anywhere without it." She gave him a peck on the nose for his sweetness and walked around his house. Damn, the stiletto was wtill stuck to her foot. She kicked it of onto the driveway. It caused the Nissan in the driveway a flat tire, making Kyle laugh hysterically and pull Emily through the street. He was getting cold because his Lacoste polo only covered so much. Emily let him wear her stripey scarf, for all the cute things he'd done lately. When they'd reached Emily's house, everyone was asleep. She'd make up an excuse for her curfew-missing tomorrow. Kyle and her held hands, facing eachother for a goodbye. Emily offered her coat to him, just incase he got wet. "It's okay, Em. I live 5 houses down!" he laughed. "Well, alright. Thanks again for the necklace, I love it! And I love you!" She giddily chirped as he gave her a goodnight kiss on the forehead. "I love you too!" he blushed as he closed the door behind him. Emily leaned against the door, and slid down into a squat. She'd just had one of the best days of her life! Nothing could ruin it.. nothing. He'd gotten her a beautiful gift, which reminded her. She reached for her sapphire present on her neck. What? It was gone.

"**Mother_fucker_**!"

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Until next time, »aym«


	19. Just Jingles

**Just Jingles.**

A/N" Not a good chapter. At ALL. But I couldn't think of anything else. I'm going on vacation so there might not be anything for awhile. :(

--- --- --- --- ---

Kyle had a pretty smooth weekend. Emily came over for dinner Saturday night. They'd watched "High School Musical." It was pretty gay. Kyle's mom came home and surprised them with food from 'City Wok'. Not so bitchy after all. It was quite good, they'd laughed when Shayla got a lahhrge hunk of beef wif broccori stuck in her ginourmous Jew snout. Gerald aka "Jahyreey" aka **GERAUWLD** came home from work and yelled at Kyle for not cleaning up his room. Emily was a little shy around his parents, but they were totally, and luckily, quite nice to her. They were looking for another movie to watch, when Emily spotted 'Titanic' at the back of our shelf. She got all twitchy and sweaty, and decided to go home. It was a confusing night, but it was fun while it lasted. Just Jingles.

--- --- --- --- ---

"Wow, Wendy! Kyle really got you that? It's gorgeous!" Heidi exclaimed. She was wearing the same hat as Wendy, except in light blue. "Hehe, yep! My little baby boy spent all his money on a gift for no reason at all!" Wendy bragged. Other girls and boys started to take notice of their purposely loud bragging scenario. "Wow, that _IS_ pretty, Wendy! Lalala..." Powder was a little hung over from Friday night... 3 nights ago, because of her low threshold for alcohol. Sucks to be a dumb redhead like Powder. "Yeah, I like it! Are you sure _Kyle_ got it for you!" BerthaRed was stammering at the sight of her ex buying this bitch a gorgeous gift. Better than anything **she** received. Across the hall, Clyde was drooling over Milla. She was bending over to get a drink of water. My god how he wanted to be that water... if that made sense. All Clyde wanted to do was just grab her from behind and kiss her all over. Well, noone said he couldn't try! He approached her, and touched her back. "Gahh, what the hell are you doing?" Water splattered everywhere. "Uhh.. I was-uhh thirsty?" he was sweating buckets. She cringed and picked up her books. "C'mon, Token. Clive's being weird." Token helped her and sauntered away with her. Clyde, still drooling over her, followed her like a little puppydog. Well that's just Jingles.

Emily walked in a little paranoid, but who wouldn't be? She walked over to her locker and twiddled around with the lock before opening it. "Hey, Em!" She sprang into the air and dropped all her artwork on the floor. Kyle was a little confused with her lately, but that's who she was. Never truly understood, and unpredictable. That's what Kyle had come to understand with her, at least. Emily laughed nervously, passing it off as a joke. "H-h-hey, Kyle! All ready for Art class?" she tried brushing her freak-out off. "Yeah, just sad that we don't get to sit together in that class," he pouted at the floor. "Ehehe.. yeah." She closed her locker and kissed his cheek. She smiled oddly and headed to the Art Room. She looked around to see if anyone had her necklace, nope. She was quite glad they were in a different class. Some time to kill for her to deperately look for it. It was **_JUST HER GODDAMN LUCK_**, anyways.

--- --- --- --- ---

Stan and Lauren spent all their time together, except for Thursday night, when Kyle took Stan to the jewelry story. They picked out a gorgeous sapphire heart locket, with room to put your pictures in. Kyle had done it, but it was so tightly shut, that only Stan could get it open with his Swiss Army Knife. Lauren spotted Wendy showing off something or other, so she brought Stan along to see it. Stan was looking at the way Clyde was drooling over Lauren's twin. Stan didn't blame him! "Hey Stan! Lookit what my 'Hot Stuff Broflovski' got me!" Stan whirled around and scrunched his nose, "Hey, isn't that the locket Kyle got for-" Lauren didn't want to take this shit from her again. "And why the FUCK would he give a shit what someone got YOU?" her face was burning with rage. Wendy sneered and did a 'talk to the hand' motion, and strutted off with Heidi. Heidi had Kevin too scared to go to school after her scary raping. She'd moved past him, and was jealous of Milla for having Token. Token didn't even like Milla, either. Although, he actually DID like Heidi. Tell me how that makes sense. A few of the Art Nerds were already in the class, but Wendy, Heidi, Lauren, and Stan had stuck outside, to be 'cool'. Lauren didn't care about that, all she cared about was putting this bitch in her place once and for all. "Wendy, why do you have Emily's locket?" Stan shouted, which was hard to do over the intercom. Principal Victoria was talking about some kid having to go to Mr.Mackey for harrasing a student. Kenny was dead, though. Well that's just Jingles.

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily was sort of.. kicked out of Art Class 5 minutes after it started, for pouring purple paint all over Pip. It was honestly an accident, but he really shouldn't have 'accidentally' ruined the portrait of her and Kyle right before it happened. Damien was about to set Emily ablaze, when Pip kissed him to stop him, and Ms.Streeble sent her to the office. "For Harassment" it was called, for some reason. Everyone was laughing, what was bad about that? So Emily walked out into the hall, and heard another "Harrasment" case being announced on the Principal's intercom. What the hell? Maybe it was Lauren beating the shit out of Wendy, over there. "WHOA! What's goin on?" Stan looked at her, then at Wendy, then back at her, "OH! Wendy stole your necklace, and is saying it's hers." He seemed pretty calm about that. He put his hand in his pockets, gave Emily a Swiss Army Knife, and managed to kiss Lauren's cheek, before entering the Art Room.

"What! What's this for?" she called after him. He just motioned to his neck and closed the door. Well that's just Jingles. Lauren was screaming at her to stop trying to win Stan back. "He's over you! Just fucking get over him, hoe!" Owch. Emily decided to help Lauren, "Why'd you take my necklace, bitch!" "It's mine, I swear!" she started crying her eyes out. "Ohh.. yeah like I'm going to beleive that! I'm sure you just decided to get the same necklace as Kyle had bought me, and take it to school the week after i lose it!" Emily wasn't in the fighting mood. She withdrew and just pulled the necklace off Wendy. "Nooo! It's mine! Kyle got it for me!" .. "No.. HE DIDN'T!" Wendy stopped struggling, "But the back says: Love, Kyle" Emily was astounded, "You actually thought he'd get YOU this, when hes dating me!" Wendy looked down. ".. I don't know. I was-" "SHUT YOUR MOUTH, BITCH" Lauren bitch-slapped her. Wendy grunted, trying to stand. "Well, who'se to say it's NOT mine?" Emily's face drooped. ".. because he doesn't like you. You know, I can even PROVE it's mine, so don't be flappin ur gums!"

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily took the Swiss Army Knife and pryed the locket open. A picture of Kyle rested at one side, and a picture of Emily rested at the other. Emily smirked and re-placed it on her neck. "Good DAY!" she continued on her way to the office. Kristin and Craig both sat on the stool infront of the door. Craig, for obvious reasons, and Kristin, whose situation couldn't be explained. Kristin did look a little smug, so that may reveal that she'd gotten something out of Cartman, finally. Emily sat down across from them and awaited her punishment. "M'kay, Craig and Kristin, m'kay? Come in please m'kay?" BOTH of them! Then they must've been caught.. oh, no. Poor Cartman.

--- --- --- --- ---

Until next time, »aym«


	20. Undisputed?

**Undisputed?**

A/N" Hmm.. I'm definitely running out of ideas. LOL hopefully I still have some of the 'spark' left xD!

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily scrunched her nose.. _How come Kristin and Craig are in trouble together?_ She pressed her left side up to the closed door, carefully trying not to break her egg baby assignment thingy. Muffled "m'kay-ing" came from Mr.Mackey as he sat down. Emily had really good ears, so she could tell what they were saying.. just like she always knew what Kenny was saying. Good genes. Okay, so first Mr.Mackey was talking about Craig harrassing Kristin in the hallway, and Kristin was babbling along with him, then Craig retorted with a, "SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!" then Kristin fell silent and said something in a low whisper, even Emily couldn't understand what she'd said.

--- --- --- --- ---

Carly and Tweek were painting eachother's egg-babies in class, when Carly dropped her Hawthorne Heights jumbo marker. Tweek, being the loyal cutie that he is, saved Carly the energy and picked it up for her. Carly giggled naughtily and pinched Tweek's tight little bum. Tweek turned a rosy pink and passed the marker back to her. To their surprise, Mrs.Streeble was outraged at the obscenity in their vicinity. "Miss McHugh, WHERE did you just pinch Mr.Tweek!" Carly's face shook at the booming voice of the Art Whore. "Uhh, he had a bug on his leg?" Carly attempted to excuse herself. "Don't try and play games with ME, young lady. YOU'RE being sent to the counselor, you SICK harrasser!" Carly gave Mrs.Streeble a 'this isn't over' look, and headed off.

Tweek, along with a few others were aghast by her scare-fest. Noone had the balls to object to her horrendous PMS'ing, or stand up, but Eric Cartman. He was about to stand on the table and tell her off, when Mrs.Streeble screeched again, "TOKEN BLACK, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!" Token was holding Heidi's hair up lovingly as she fixed her necklace clasp. Milla's hair flew as her head turned toward him in disgust. She frowned at her affection victim, but brushed it off. It's not like it was anything SERIOUS, right? Right? She decided to leave him be. She didn't need this shit. He looked at the angered teacher in astonishment. Before he could answer, and before she could continue, Cartman saw his chance, "What's wrong with you, art whore, you got some sand in your vagina?"

_Let's just say all three of them were sent to the office for sexual harrassment, with threats to phone their parents._

The class fell silent for fear of yet another outbreak of the Art Whore. All of a sudden, she got up from the teacher's desk, and started writing 'MAJOR ART TEST' on the board. As her back was turned, some moans came from the less intellectual students, and someone had thrown a paper ball at Clyde's noggin. It read, **Hey Clydie, let's go out after school, kay? Love Milla.** There was a big red heart drawn around the word 'Clydie', along with a heart-filled border. Neato.. but not for him. Clyde blinked at the creepy stalker note before tossing the paper in the nearest garbage can. Milla felt a sting in her heart, and spent the rest of the class looking at her lap.

--- --- --- --- ---

Heidi and Token made eye contact in the hallway in utmost cuteness, she'd almost forgotten that she was Wendy's BITCH. She couldn't like him because Wendy had already been a couple with Token. That is like a rule of friendship! If she really supported the idea of 'friendship', that is. Cartman's arms were crossed as he reached into his pocket for his egg. It was still intact, luckily. As the group approached the office, they just saw Carly playing with her egg, and Emily leaning against the door. Carly straightened up as they drew nearer. "What are you here for?" "Apparently, sexual harrasment." Cartman sat beside Carly on the bench to help with their egg. Token's egg was one of those Omega-3 high protein ones, aka BROWN ones. He'd find it racist even if the egg was white, so he'd reconsidered being pissed off this time. "What's with all the sexual harrassment cases! I mean, I didn't really do anything to offend anyone, I'm not going to take this shit!" Carly got up from her seat, trying to grab the egg away from Cartman. He was thinking hard. "YEAH! Now that I think of it, I'm pissed off, too!" he let Carly take the egg and they both left the office vicinity. Emily caught a few more sentences, including, "It seems you two have communication issues, m'kay? Maybe you'd like to talk about that, m'kay?" and "I'm not his fucking girlfriend! Didn't I make it clear at the dance!" Owch.. that girl is pissed _off_. "Ahh, don't use that kind of language, Miss Szilvassy, m'kay?" Emily scoffed at his obsessive word.

Bebe appeared in the hallway tacking up a poster. Come to think of it, they were EVERYWHERE. "Hello, friends! I'm just taping up my last few advertisements for my protest against Sexual Harrassment!" Emily coughed, "HIPPIE!" and an unnoticing Bebe continued, "After all the abuse I was put through with Kenny, I realized it happens everywhere! To people like you and meeeee." She quoted an old Chris Cringle Christmas Miracle song.. the name remains unknown to the average person. "I've talked to the teachers and the principal, for stricter rules against harrassment of this kind! Now everyone who breaks the laws will BURN IN HELL!" she ran away magnificently, in her own mind. "Whoa, dude. She's gone power mad!" Emily was shocked at her sudden change. She needs to SIMMER DOWN. She was absolutely and blatantly undisputed about her position, but the way she's going about doing it with all the strict rules, not flexible for the slightest thing, it's just not going to fit in with society at this point in socialism. Yes, quite a political sentence there. Emily spent a few seconds looking into the eyes of her classmates having a moment, and fought back the decision to ditch school, even though it would've been no big whup. Sure the school's harrassment laws were tight-assed, but their security and attendance morals were psychotic and unorganized, so people could literally walk out of school after first period.

--- --- --- --- ---

During the last few school hours, Cartman and Carly ran into the public library to hide. Who would find them there? They were running so fast that Cartman thought his ass had fallen off. They ran into the front doors with such a rush that old bitchy Ms.Schroeder started to scream at them to be quiet. They didn't pay any attention and sprinted into one of the private video screening rooms. It was the same room Emily had mistakenly kissed Clyde. Ironically, that was the LAST time that room was used, so it still smelled of Vanilla candles and insence. Cartman wrinkled his nose at Carly, "Do you smell food?" Carly laughed and playfully whacked his shoulder, accidentally causing him to drop the egg. For a split second, they'd both watched their little egg baby plummet to the carpet, but they both went for it at the same time. The puffball on Cartman's cap ticked Carly's nose, and she had to stop to sneeze. When she looked down, he'd caught their egg right as it would've smashed into the tile floor. Cartman and Carly let out releived sighs in unison. "Ehehe..." Cartman nervously laughed as he pulled out a chair for Carly. "Hehehe..." she sat in it and started to sweat. Cartman sat next to her and fished through his massive yellow backpack. "No.. not there... hmm maybe.. nope." Carly glanced at him, "Whatcha lookin' for?" She couldn't help but giggle. "AHA! Myah is is!" He held a full package of Golden Oreos, his and coincidentally, _Carly's_ favourite. He pryed the tab open with his teeth and held open the row of cookies for her to take her pick. She smiled into his navy blues, and he smiled back into her pale greens, ever so slowly smiling away. Carly took a cookie and broke the focus, and Cartman did the same. "So.."

--- --- --- --- ---

Tweek had shaken the entire class, considering he was all alone at the table. "AHH! They're all looking at me, GAH! They're watching you like a HAWK, they just wanna KILL YOU!" Pessimistic possibilities had ran through his mind, so he decided to make it into artwork. He looked at his finished piece up and down as he passed by Mr.Mackey's office. Kristin and Craig burst out of that room, each a slightly better person. They were out of the water, but Craig finally didn't think they were a couple. They could finally start being friends. Sadly, he still wanted more. Heidi and Token were next into the office, and Tweek sat beside Emily. They looked at their egg for a minute, then Tweek finally spoke, "Why is everyone getting in trouble these days, AHH!" Emily was glad he'd asked the perfect question to her problems. She spilled about the huge stink of Bebe's psycho political movement, and her fight for justice taken to the next level. Emily liked Bebe, but she'd just gone too far this time. "Hey.. YEAH! You know, we should do something about all this!" All of a sudden, Courtney Tweek, aka his mother, had grabbed him and taken him away from Emily. "Tweek, honey. You should know better by now. We have a family dinner this evening with some distant relatives in the area."

--- --- --- --- ---

Lauren sat at her desk at home, and envisioned herself without public school. AHH! She needed something to calm her down, so she flipped on the closest Tim Burton movie. Sadly, the sound system hadn't been working, so she just watched Willy Wonka in silence. God, deaf people have it tough. She buried her face in her pillow, and tried to take a nap. After about 13 or 14 more minutes, she heard Hollywood Undead blasting from outside her window. Stan was shivering in the snowstorn they were having, and staring up at a smitten Lauren. After a few seconds of euphoria, Lauren tossed down the practise gymnastics rope she used to use. She'd attempted gymnastics in the past with much failure, but saw the ray of light that came with the convenience of that rope. It was sturdy enough to pull Stan up into her window. Lauren felt like Juliette, but she didn't care. She smooched his frozen lips and warmed his body with a hug. "You know, if Father catches you..." "It's worth it, trust me!" Stan was so romantic sometimes. She kissed him once more, with more force this time. They'd even pressed up against her walk-in closet door and she was caressing his hair. Suddenly, she heard scary footsteps in the hallway. "Shit, get in there!" she shoved him in her closet and slammed the door. "Sweetie? Get ready, we have a family dinner soon!" he sniffed around the room for something. He seemed to pick up something, when Lauren answered, "Right, I was.. just about to get.. changed," she motioned for him to leave, and he closed the door with just a crack left, and peeked through for a few seconds. Lauren pretended to pick out an outfit until her father finally closed the door. She felt her heart beating super fast, she needed more Stan. He stuck his head out and smiled at her. Lauren sat on her bed and patted beside her. He was so excited, he ran for her bed, and fell behind it by mistake. Lauren started to laugh when Milla came in, "What's so funny?" Stan quietly rolled under her bed. Lauren didn't even bother to answer, "What do you waaaaaant!" Lauren did NOT want to hear about it. "Well, it's about... Clyde." Lauren rolled her eyes, just as their booming father came in, "GIRLS! Oh thank god, I thought Lauren was takling to _someone_," he talked sharply. "GET READY! THEY'RE GOING TO BE HERE IN A MINUTE!" Milla sighed as she spotted Stan under Lauren's bed. Stan waved at her and she rolled her eyes, then left. "Ugh.. I'm sorry for my family, but I really got to get ready!" Stan put a pillow over his eyes so he wouldn't see. How polite. Lauren held back a giggle fit as she put on a pinstripe skirt and her Willy Wonka sweatshirt. Crisp and clean, it was good enough. She slipped on her red Converse shoes, and paused before heading out the door. She lay on her stomach right infront of her bed and pulled the pillow off Stan's pale face. "The rope is in my drawer," she kissed his forehead and he shook his head, "Its okay, I'll stay here. Like I said, it's worth it!" Lauren gave him one more kiss, and held his cheeks in both hands for a moment before leaving him alone. As she went down the stairs, the doorbell rang, so she skipped to the door. As she opened it, her jaw dropped. Standing before her was Richard and Courtney Tweek, and their SON! Lauren always thought she was skittish for a reason... but this is getting way too perfectly strange for her...

--- --- --- --- ---

Until next time, »aym«


	21. Stan is Being a Cutie Again!

**Stan is Being a Cutie Again!**

A/N" yeah I know you can see where this is going... maybe I can twist it to surprise you.

--- --- --- --- ---

Dinner was absolutely enthralling. Lauren figured out her strange behaviours and realized they had 'ADD' and other maniacs in the family. It made sense to her, but what didn't make sense was the fact that Tweek wasn't nervous during dinner. He simply sat in between her and Milla and calmly ate his pork chops while looking at his lap. Has he taken drugs or something? Richard aka Tweek's dad said something about their car motor. Bla bla bla about some assistance, and Lauren's mom was gesturing for Courtney aka Tweeks mom, about coming into the kitchen for a nice cup of tea. Milla wanted to show Tweek a movie, and Lauren was left alone again. "..STAN!" It had been longer than an hour, she had to be quick. She kicked off her shoes, so noone would notice, and tiptoed back upstairs. Milla was having her 'Clyde' talk with the silently calm Tweek, and then he said something about sexual harassment and how he's going to make a big speech with Emily tomorrow. Lauren barely knew her way around the school, but noticed all the pink sexual harassment papers tacked around the halls. The hall was almost completely pink. As Lauren found her way to her room, she silently creaked the door open, only to see Stans mittened hand poking out of the bottom of her black comforter. "_Stan?_" she whispered loudly. She pulled on his arm, slowly waking a hatless Stan up. His hair was matted and shiny, yet it never ceased to have its ebony glow. "Hey.." he drowsily smiled as he leaned up out of his bed. Lauren picked up his red poofball hat, and held it in her lap. It was soft as a baby's bottom. Stan was smiling into Lauren's big hazel eyes and scootched out from under the bed. She fixed a piece of his hair, kissed him on the cheek, and hugged him hard. Stan pulled her in for another forceful kiss, and switched back to hugging her with utmost affection. It seemed to be about 10 seconds, but they'd been hugging for like 15 minutes. "Shit." Lauren was a little shocked to hear that, but she just crossed her fingers that he didn't 'sneeze' so to speak. Lauren glanced at Stan's frozen face, then looked in his direction of sight. Lauren's father was standing at her door, angrily staring at them, jaw-dropped. It took him about thirty seconds to continue speaking. "Lauren Diane, come down to the table with the rest of the family. Make sure _he's_ gone by the time the Tweeks leave. He closed the door in a forceful quiet slam, which meant he was PISSED. Lauren sighed and smiled weakly into Stan's baby blue eyes, before nervously exiting the room. Right before she closed the door, she heard Stan whisper, "I love you." Lauren had just processed that into her brain once she shut the door, and felt too self-concsious to just walk back in there and kiss him all over. She hoped he knew that she felt the same about him.

--- --- --- --- ---

Carly peeked out of the library door. All the lights were shut off except for a few emergency lights in the hallway leading to the exit. "Is that fat bitch Ms.Schroeder gone?" Cartman quickly shoved 2 golden oreos in his mouth while Carly's back was turned. He was practically sweating. He had never been this close to a smiling girl since Kristin. And that was a lost cause... wasn't it? Just picturing her with him made him realize that Craig would win her back regardless of what he attempted. "Yep, we can go now!" Carly chirped. Cartman suddenly felt a rush of feelings towards her. Just the way she purely got along with him and saw beyond his attitude, it made him smile. He packed up his oreos and held the door open for her. "Thanks, Eric." she headed for the hallway. Cartman froze. She called him 'Eric'. The only other people who called him that were his mother, the teachers, and Kristin. Then there was his classmates who called him 'Cartman', and Stan and Kyle who insisted on calling him 'fatass'. Assholes. He quickly snapped back into reality and followed Carly toward the library exit. Carly was waiting patiently, holding their beautiful egg baby and leaning against the wall. Cartman picked up the pace and braced himself for the cold snowstorm outside. His house was only a block away. But Carly lived like five blocks away. Maybe she could stay over. Nothing bad would happen...right? Carly was blushing, which meant she was thinking the same thing. Cartman didn't pick up on this, but cheerily smiled as he pushed the door. It didn't budge. He tried again, with more force. It seems the wind had been blowing the door shut. "Aw-aww! Fuck, dude!" They were stuck inside the eerie library, with the vibe of an old woman bouncing off the walls.

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily was at home reviewing her speech for the following day. Tweek had called from Lauren's house, (weird), to say that Milla had joined their protest group. God, Emily felt like such a hippie. Then she remembered how traumatized Bebe had been under Kenny's perverted thumb. That blonde cutie sure was messed up! Now that's what happens when you get addicted to porn. Her, Tweek, Milla, Carly, and Cartman would hopefully smack that Sexual Harassment case right in the face. "Alright, so my first argument would be.."

--- --- --- --- ---

Bebe was roaming the halls, getting ready to go home. She'd literally COVERED the hallways with posters advertising her debate, and was absolutely revolted that people she thought were her FRIENDS, Emily, Tweek, whoever else, was against her on this issue. God, since when did newbie 9-year olds get to decide the rules of the school? Oh well, best to call it a night...

--- --- --- --- ---

Until next time, »aym«


	22. z0mg Harassment 1!

**z0mg Harrassment!!1!**

A/N" Chyeah I couldn't think of anything.. plus it's been like 4 months since I've written a thing. XDD Please forgive me!

--- --- --- --- ---

"Have a safe trip home, Richard! Goodbye, Courtney!"

The Kalinowskis waved as their long lost relatives escalated down the driveway. Milla wished Tweek all the luck in the world for their Sexual Harassment "debate" tomorrow. Would this actually take effect on the school? Lauren skittered to the door to see them off. She barely had to wave because the car was already out of sight.

"Well that was a nice family dinner, WASN'T IT." Laurens father looked her straight in the eye.

"YEP!" Lauren ran upstairs. "I'm uh, going in the shower!" Lauren justified her speediness before her father came blundering after her.

She was damn lucky to have a bathroom only her and Milla shared, so she could check her room on the way. There was her long gymnastics rope hanging out the window, tied to her bedpost. Lying right beside the knot of rope was Stan's wool knit cap. Lauren ran over to it and snuggled it. It smelled like cherry pie and laundry detergent. She'd decided right then and there that it was the best combination she'd ever smelled.

--- --- --- --- ---

Kristin was on the phone with Emily, and they were bitching about Bebe's sexual harassment.

"Kay, I _like_ Bebe and all, but, she got me suspended for 3 days! I was a lucky fuck to not have my parents give my teachers their work numbers, or I wouldn't have gotten home to delete the message!"

"Oh shit, can you still come help with the debate?" Emily crossed her fingers and toes. Kristin was probably the best arguer she'd ever known.

"I don't really care if I couldn't. I would still come for JUSTICE!"

"Okay, great! Kay, the first thing we should say would be something like.. "Okay, Kenny is a needle in a haystack, it's not like were ALL like Kenny and we'd ALL sexually harass people."

"That's not bad. Also, "There's no agenda behind holding hands with someone!"

This was going to be a fun debate. Bebe, and whoever would support her would have to come up with some KICK ASS arguments.

--- --- --- --- ---

Kristin hung up the phone after lots of planning and note-taking. She'd read on the bulliten board (after tearing dozens of pink papers off) that the debate wouldn't be infront of a large audience, so it would strictly be the support groups, perhaps a judge, and a couple teachers. Everyone else would be in their classes.

Good fucking thing, too. Kristin can argue with a small group of people, anything over 25 is like AHHH!!1!

Why the hell was everyones line busy?! Cartman's line had been busy for a good three hours. Where was he?! And why were all the girls ALWAYS with their fucking boyfriends. She was going to have a slumber party!

--- --- --- --- ---

Carly was in a field, surrounded by lilies and daisies. Her short hair was surprisingly still flowing, and her black dress with the spiderwebs on it felt cool and soft as silk. In fact, it was made of silk.. weird.

A shadow came over her, blocking the sun. It seemed to all be in slow motion. She flung her head towards the shadow, all she saw was a sun-stricken shadowy figure on a horse. She squinted to see who it was, but didn't need to. He jumped off his horse and directly onto her. He was larger than her, but light as a feather. They rolled laughing down a hill.. but as they were slowing down, she got a whiff of him. Golden Oreos-

"AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Carly lurched out of her dreamland. Was she screaming in her dream? It was exactly 4:27am.

"OH MA GAWW IT'S GONE!"

She grinned, and fell back asleep on Cartman's shoulder. CARTMANS SHOULDER?!

--- --- --- --- ---

The sun rose, Bebe rolled out of bed, combed her curls, and put on her spiffiest red sweater. Nothing was going to divert her from her goal. Extinguish all who were like Kenny, and live a safer, cleaner life. No more grossness.

WARPEDD HUH!?

--- --- --- --- ---

Kyle showed up at Emily's door while her hair was still a rat's nest, and she was still wearing her yellow penguin pyjamas.

"Makes a girl feel really lovely at the beginning of the day." She slammed the door and got ready in a flash.

Once in her Nirvana hoodie, leggings, and legwarmers (present from Carly!) complete with her locket dangling out of her hoodie, she was all set. She smiled at his enthusiastic face.  
"My dad helped me with the debate, I think we're gonna win!" He had a whole binder of arguments to choose from.

Emily closed her eyes and sighed. Maybe triumph could be won by anyone.

--- --- --- --- ---

Cartman woke up to the smell of old coffee breath. He looked up at Ms.Schroeder and shivered all over. He felt some weight directly in his lap, and looked down to see Carly's head buried deep in it. He blushed a little, then directed his attention back to the lady who reeked of Aspirin and pee.

"WHATTA YOU LITTLE YOUNGINS THINK YAHR DOIN IN HEER?!"

Carly woke up screaming, then looked at Cartman, and back at her lap. Cartman smiled weakly at her turned away head, and chose to act fast. He grabbed the steaming Tim's and whipped it directly at her ugly wrinkled face. Ms.Schroeder shrieked in pain, and tried to grab the kids.

"That's what you get, uglah skank!! Go, Carly!" Carly grabbed Cartman's chunky hand and fleeted out the door.

After about 10 seconds of running, Carly pulled a way past out of breath Cartman into a bush.

"I don't think she's going to follow us..." Carly started, "but we'd better make it to the debate."

Cartman felt an urge to do something foolish like fart on someone or taunt someone, but he held it in for Carly. He tried closing his eyes and counting to 10, but all he got was visions of scary things. Meh, thats what he always sees when he closes his eyes. Carly poked her head out of the bush, and Cartman sneaked a peek at her behind.  
"Okay, we're clear!" She crawled out and thought hard. That could've been the perfect place to start an affair. Goddamnit. It's not like he's over Kristin at all, anyways. _Don't even think about ruining what you have with Tweek, Carly, _She told herself.

--- --- --- --- ---

Tweek was the first to get there, shaking in anticipation. Next came Bebe sporting a businesswoman-esque look. Milla came with her sister, who was wearing a hat identical to Stan's. Looks like its a commitment present. Tweek grinned at her cousin. They all waited outside the conference room, Tweek and Lauren conversing with eye contact, Milli twisting a kleenex around, Bebe looking quite sure of herself, for the event that was to come.

--- --- --- --- ---

HAHAHA Until next time, EMILIAH! XD It was about freaking time my closure had changed.


	23. Try The Doughnut Creme!

**Try the Doughnut Creme!**

A/N" Liek I didn't know what elzz 2 name itt!!11!!2!11!!

--- --- --- --- ---

Emily inhaled deeply, waited a few seconds, then exhaled. The debate was over. She was sitting in a bathroom stall, thinking about her morning. She heard someone come in.. pink and white adidas shoes, that's Bebe! Emily opened the door and washed her hands, before realizing she hadn't even used the toilet.

"So.." Emily started, trying to make peace.

"Um.. hey." Bebe looked smugly pissed. It's a painful combination.

Suddenly they heard someone slam the bathroom door into the wall. There was a wall seperating the door, so they couldn't see who was coming in, but Emily just tweaked with fright. She grabbed Bebe, who was still washing her hands, from the sink, shoved her into a stall, and jumped in after her. She smacked the door shut and twisted the lock. She moved to sit down on the toilet tank, before noticing the back of her teal jeans had about three folds caught in the door.

Bebe sat on the toilet seat and gave Emily a confused look. She didn't want to admit the sound scared the shit out of her as well.

"UGH. Kay, what happened again?!" Who the fuck was that voice. Emily tried to twist and pull herself around to peek out the crack, but it was no use. She fumbled with her jeans while Bebe chuckled watching. It started to make a noise, then Bebe tensed up and tersley pressed a finger against her mouth. Emily bit her lip and tried to pry free. They both kept total quiet for what these girls were saying.

"Kay. So you know Kyle and Tweek and them were in that Sexual Harassment debate thing because Bebe went nuts?" Bebe frowned and started up to tell them off, but Emily held her down. Why were they trash talking the debate?!

"Yeah, but her boyfriend .. died at Wendy's party. I was there when it happened."

"WHATEVER, HEIDI!" One of them was Heidi, sweet! The cranky one, supposively the one who slammed the door, continued, "That's not the point."

--- --- --- --- ---

Tweek was in the Nurse's Office. A slight siezure, he had. Actually, more like a mind freak attack that could have killed him, is more what he had. He was shivering in a cot with a blanket around him. His hair looked like it was coming out, and he was sipping some decaf latte. Decaf.. something big must have happened.

Cartman walked past the Nurse's Office with his backpack and everything. Leaving early?  
"GAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!" Tweek flung his coffee in the air and fell backwards off the cot and onto the tile floor.

--- --- --- --- ---

Clyde was twiddling his thumbs innocently when he was bombarded with a kissing parade. Someone had blacked both his eyes and shoved their tounge down his throat! His eyes stung and couldn't open either of them. He was backed into a stool, and laying across it in no time. Once his attacker pulled away, they both gasped for air, and Clyde struggled to sit up. Suddenly he just felt a hand on his chest, pushing him down.

"And this is what you get for trying to play hard to get."

Then his attacker stood up and walked away. Clyde felt around like a blind person for the nearest classroom.

--- --- --- --- ---

"She couldn't start her arguments for the debate, she kept looking back at him.. then after a good minute of stalling she walked over to Cartman and smooched him squah on tha leeps!"

"z0mg, seriously?!"

"Yeah, I saw it. Carly likes Cartman. This is valid information because I never left the assembly. I didn't want to go to class so I just watched Bebe make an ass of herself in, probably her mother's play business suit from when she was 11. I knew she wouldn't pass those tight-ass rules!"

Bebe was infuriated with whoever kept trash talking her, she just wanted to scream all the stars right out of the sky. It wasn't Wendy, or she would've recognized it from a mile away. Powder? Milli? Kelly Rutherfordvinskin?! She crept up near a still-stuck Emily and peered out of the crack-

"BITCH!"

The door flew open, sending a now-free Emily into the ruddy toilet tank.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT ME! THAT SUIT WAS DONNA KARAN!"

The girls' bathroom went quiet, Bebe staring this bitch down, Emily's foot caught in the toilet. A second grader whimpered a little from inside a stall, and ran out of the washroom as fast as her legs could carry her.

--- --- --- --- ---

UNTIL NEXT TIME EMILIAH. z0mg liek whutz gna happn nxt.?!??11:D


End file.
